How Do We Know If We Need a Wedding Planner?

A wedding planner can help you find your vendors, manage all the logistics on the big day, take care of your wedding to-dos (there are over 150 of them) and in many cases act as your BFF when your mom, fiance and friends stop replying to your emails.

Some experts will suggest that you hire a wedding planner early in the process but you can book someone at any time. You may start planning on your own and then decide a few months in that you need some help or decide the month before that you need help the last few weeks and on the day of. Just know that great planners book up fast and not everyone offers day-of services.

Talk to friends who have worked with a wedding planner about their experience and schedule appointments with a few planners to learn more about their services, prices and how they can help you.

Make sure to check references and view portfolios. Don’t hire someone who you don’t feel comfortable with and make sure you can afford their services. Read the contract carefully so you understand what they will and won’t do.

If a deal seems to good to be true, such as a really low price, it may be someone with limited experience. That doesn’t mean he or she can’t do the job, but double check their references and try to learn as much as you can about their background/experience before signing a contract.

When Should We Have Our Guests Reserve Their Hotel Rooms?

Once you’ve secured a block of rooms you can share the hotel information and discount code with your guests. Post the information on your wedding website and if you’re mailing save-the-date cards, include the details.

The hotel will probably include an end date on the hold in the contract, which will state how long the rooms will be on hold for your guests. Some hotels will cancel the hold on unbooked rooms four weeks before your wedding date to be able to sell them to other customers, so it’s important your guests book their rooms as soon as the information is available.

You may reserve blocks at multiple hotels -- based on price points and style. You can choose both a budget-friendly and high-end option to allow guests to choose the hotel they want.

If you know the hotel is booking up fast don’t be afraid to email or call specific guests to inform them that if they don’t make their reservation soon they may not have a room to book at all.

Do I Really Need to Buy a Wedding Organizer?

No, but it’s important to keep all of your wedding information and inspiration in one place and a wedding organizer will help you do that, as well as help you plan along the way with planning advice and checklists. If you don't buy one you can use a folder and notebook that you keep your vendor notes, ideas and contracts in.

There are a variety of wedding organizers and each one has pros and cons but here are a few things you should look for in one:

Three-Ring Binder: It’s important that you can easily add and remove information and a bound book will not allow you to do that.

Folders & Pockets: Make sure they will fit 8.5” x 11” paper since most notes you’ll be taking and contracts will be printed on that size.

Checklists & Timelines: It’ll be helpful to you to have planning guides to keep track of all the wedding to-dos. You can print them from websites and add them but if they’re already there it’s one less thing for you to do.


Sturdiness: Buy an organizer that will be able to carry all the paper, ribbon, invite samples and other items you want to hold on to. You want a binder that’s strong and not made of paper, plastic or other weak material that may warp or break with the weight.

I recommend The Wedding Organizer  by russell + hazel that I co-authored, but if you visit your local book store you can see a sample of other organizers by Martha Stewart Weddings, Emily Post, Mindy Weiss (available Jan 15th) and theknot.

How Soon After We Got Engaged Should We Register for Gifts?

Ask yourself these questions:

• Is it assumed that relatives, friends and friends of your parents, or your fiance’s, will send you engagement gifts soon after you’ve announced your engagement?
• Are you planning an engagement party in the next month or two?
• Do you just want to start one because you got engaged?

If you’ve answered yes to any of the above questions then go ahead and start your wedding registry now. You can go online and begin creating it or call the stores you want to register at (remember to pick two or three online and brick and mortar options) and find out if you need an appointment or can walk in and start scanning.

Once you’ve created your wedding registry you can spread the news of where you’ve registered on your wedding website or through word of mouth.

There’s no such thing as registering too soon, however you should edit and delete items as the seasons change and items are discontinued or no longer available. Remember that your wedding is probably 12 months away and the stock in stores will change so you should revise your registry a few weeks before your bridal shower and around the time you mail out your wedding invitations to ensure there are enough items for guests to choose from.

How Soon After We’re Engaged Should We Take Engagement Portraits?

First ask yourself why you're taking engagement portraits. Are you planning on sending an engagement announcement to your local paper? In which case you need to schedule a shoot sooner rather than later. Are the shots going on save-the-date cards? Then you have a few months because you don’t have to send out STD cards until six to nine months before your wedding. Or are you just taking them because you want to have some nice photos to display in your home. In this case you can take them whenever you want -- and with the winter weather blowing in you may want to wait until spring or even summer arrives.

If you’re not in a rush then I would wait until you’ve booked a photographer for your wedding. Using your wedding photographer will give you a chance to get to know each other so on your wedding day you’re both a little more relaxed in front of his camera. You may also be able to get a deal on an engagement shoot since you’ve booked him for the wedding.

When you meet with prospective photographers ask them about including an engagement portrait session in your contract -- how much it will cost, how many prints you get and what they will cost and when he or she recommends doing them. You also want to see some of the engagement portrait sessions they’ve shot.

How Do We Decide Who Sits Near the Band, the Kitchen and the Bar at Our Reception?

Creating your wedding’s seating chart can be tricky, but after you’ve decided which table everyone is sitting at you then have to determine where in the room the tables should go. Someone has to sit near the band or the kitchen or the entrance so think carefully about who may take offense to each location. Here are some tips to guide you:

• Don’t put grandma and grandpa’s table near the band or the DJ’s speaker. They won’t enjoy the loud music or get to speak with their relatives and friends sitting with them. It’s safe to put them toward the back of the room, away from the dance floor.
• While you should put the kids’ table near their parents, you don’t want to put them right on the dance floor, especially if they’re younger than 10. Put them towards the back of the room but not near an exit where a little one can run out quickly and unnoticed.
• The bride and groom’s parent tables should be right on the edge of the dance floor where they can be seen by the other guests.
• Your friends, and the groom’s, may not mind sitting right next to the bar. Another idea is next to the band since older generations may take it as an insult to be so close to the music.
• If someone has to be right next to the out/in doors of the kitchen ask the location manager or caterer to put up a decorative screen so it’s not so obvious that the kitchen is there.

We Just Got Engaged and Everyone We Run Into Says, ‘They Can’t Wait for the Wedding,’ But We Don’t Know If They’re On the Guest List. What Should We Tell Them?

At this stage I would just thank them for the well wishes and don’t mention the wedding at all. Since you don’t know any of the details yourself you don’t want to blurt out, “Thanks, but you’re not invited.”

Once you have firmed up the guest list and know who made the final cut and who didn’t you can tell people who aren’t on the list that you’ve decided on a small wedding. But don’t send out an email, only say something if someone asks you directly if they’re invited or not.

People are excited to hear about your engagement and are only asking about the wedding details to show their interest. It’s most likely not a way to “score” an invite.

When someone asks you about the wedding details, and you’re still figuring them out, be honest and tell them you’re just enjoying being engaged and haven’t started planning yet.

What are Some Dessert Ideas We Can Have in Addition to a Wedding Cake?

Talk to your caterer about serving a medley of desserts, offering a different dessert to every other person at the table so couples can share. If you want to offer more than two options (plus wedding cake) you can server buffets in a variety of ways.

Does the space allow you to move back to the cocktail hour room where you can set up a dessert hour? Offer several sweet stations, passed mini-desserts and a selection of dessert wines, cocktails, coffees and teas -- you could even throw in a shake or malted station too!

Or create one dessert buffet with a variety of desserts and invite guests to help themselves. Are you pie-lovers or cookie-fanatics? Make the buffet all about your favorite treats -- a cookie bar, brownie bar, pie buffet, etc.

Some guests may want to take dessert home with them so set up bakery boxes and/or bags on the side so they can make their own goody bags or have a waiter nearby to help them.

We Have a Lot of Nieces & Nephews Coming to the Wedding, How Do We Ensure They're Entertained and Their Parents Have a Good Time Too?

Many couples will reserve a room at the reception venue for a babysitter to watch and entertain kids so their parents can enjoy the reception. Or you can also have the kids watched in a room at the hotel everyone is staying at.

I wouldn’t create a mini-reception for the kids with a DJ, but you can have a room with kid-friendly food, a TV with DVDs and video games. Make sure you have a babysitter to watch them. Having the kids close by means moms and dads can check in on them and if there’s an emergency the sitter can notify the parents quickly.

If you do decide to have the kids at the reception ask the parents before putting their kids at the kids’ table -- some may feel their three year old is better off with them then on his own. Tell the caterer how many children (under the age of 16) will be there so he can prepare enough kids’ meals and set-up the kids’ table with some activities. Coloring books or sketch pads with colored pencils will keep them busy, but don’t be surprised if they take over the dance floor.

My Friend Hated the Bouquet Her Florist Made for Her, How Can I Avoid a Similar Situation?

Don’t be afraid to dictate to your florist exactly what you want. You can show her photos of the flowers you definitely want and don’t want as well as photos of styles you like and don’t like.

When you meet with your florist to see centerpiece samples ask for them to provide bouquet and bout samples too. A floral sample is similar to a tasting with your caterer. You get to see exactly what you’ll get on your wedding day.

If you feel that the sample is good then make sure that you and the florist take a photo and write down the names of the flowers used. Remember that flowers are seasonal, so if your preview is months before your wedding the flowers may not be available on your wedding day or may cost money to fly them in from another region.

On your wedding day make sure you see the bouquet before the florist and her team leave your venue so if you aren’t happy they can fix whatever is bothering you.