Tuesday, November 30, 2010

You Parents Don't Have to Pay for Your Wedding

I woman emailed me recently that after paying for her daughter's college and graduate school degrees as well as living expenses and a car, she and her husband decided that they can only give their daughter $10,000 towards her wedding.  The daughter thought this was too little an amount and the mother was asking me what she should do - give her more money or not?

My answer was that if they can afford to give their daughter $10,000 towards her wedding that's very generous.

I don't know where the couple is getting married and she didn't mention the groom's family contributing money but either way paying for your child's wedding is not a mandatory parenting duty like clothing and feeding your child when they're young.

Don't look in your parents' bank accounts.  You don't know what their savings looks like and what they can afford to spend on your wedding.  If your parents are able to give you money towards your wedding that's wonderful.  Thank them with a big hug.  But don't make them feel like bad parents if thier gift doesn't live up to your expectations.

No one should go into debt to pay for a wedding - not you and your groom or your parents.

If you have to cut back on the scale of your wedding make the necessary cuts, and then for a future anniversary make it a grander celebration and renew your vows.


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