Do I Have to Provide Meals for the Vendors at My Wedding Reception?

I think you should, specifically for the vendors working the entire wedding -- which can last 6 hours or more. Talk to your caterer about having meals prepared for the musicans/DJ, wedding planner and her staff, the photographer and videographer and their assistants. These are the vendors who will be working your entire wedding day and they will need food and drinks (non-alcoholic ones of course) in order to stay awake and energized.

The makeup artist and hairstylist, dresser, officiant, baker and florist (and their teams) won’t be spending more than a couple of hours with you so you don’t need to offer them a full meal.

As for what you serve it can be casual: sandwiches, wraps and salads. They won’t expect to be served the same meal as your guests. And for the cost, that will depend on your caterer. Some will throw it in and others may charge a $20pp fee. You can negotiate this with them or ask your wedding planner to coordinate sandwiches, drinks and a snack for vendors from outside source.

Should I Act Like a Bridezilla to Get Better Service From My Wedding Vendors?

Have you ever heard the saying: You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar? Well the same is true for wedding vendors.

Besides the fact that you should treat everyone kindly if you want your vendors to go that extra mile for you be courteous. No one is going to want to go above and beyond for someone they dislike. Would you?

The vendors featured on “Bridezilla” are not going above and beyond because their clients are mean and rude to them. I would bet that they go above and beyond because they want their best work featured on TV. Also, reality shows are scripted so either the bride and vendor are told to act the way they do or it’s edited to look like that.

When dealing with your wedding vendors be polite. Don’t demand but ask, even though you’re paying. Don’t bombard them with emails and phone calls -- remember you’re not their only client -- and respect their hours.

My Mom Wants Me to Hire a Talented, But Not My Style, Florist. How Do I Tell Her No?

I think you should meet with the florist your mom suggests and bring her your ideas to see what she comes up with and what her budget is. Then take your mom with you to meet with two or three vendors whose style is similar to your own.

It’s important that your mom feels that she is part of the process, especially if she’s paying for your wedding. Remember that your wedding day is just as important to her as it is to you.

Once you’ve met with all the possible florists sit down with your mom and go over what each one proposes aesthetically as well as their budget. Review with her why you like or don’t like each one and you may be able to convince her to support your choice of florist.

As the bride you can put your foot down but if mom’s writing the checks this may not go over well. Instead of starting World War III see if you can compromise and hire her florist for another event such as the bridal shower or rehearsal dinner.

And you never know, in the end you may decide that mom’s florist wasn’t such a bad option after all.

Vendors are a Great Source for Other Vendors

Wedding vendors work with so many other wedding vendors.  Every week they work with a different planner, caterer, location, florist, etc...

It's worth asking a wedding vendor you've hired who they recommend for a wedding "position" you're still trying to fill.

So for example, when you meet with your florist, ask them if they can recommend a good photographer or baker or stationer.

Vendors will know who may be a good fit for you based on what you've told them about your wedding and based on the fact that you've hired them and they will know who will best compliment their work.

A Catering Tip for Your Wedding Menu

A group of wedding bloggers and freelance writers were invited to a special event at the Plaza Hotel last week. The catering company Great Performances hosted a casual cocktail hour and their chef d'cuisine, Mark Spooner, talked to us about new trends in cocktail hour and dessert.  the event was held in the historic Grand Ballroom.

Of course, I asked why pigs-in-a-blanket weren't there and I was told that PIBS are not trendy, they're a classic!

When you're planning you're wedding menu, talk to your caterer about what foods you and your fiance love as well as what foods you don't enjoy, but then listen to what your caterer recommends.  He or she will be able to tell you what is popular with guests, what the latest trends are, which foods you may not want to serve and why as well as what foods you can afford.  You may want a raw seafood bar but your budget may not allow for it.

Remember that your wedding vendors plan and execute weddings every week.  They are the experts, are sure to have great ideas and be able to guide you in the right direction.

Gratuities: Who Gets What

Your catering contract will include gratuity for the waitstaff and it will usually be somewhere between 18 - 25%. This fee is not negotiable and since waiters, bussers and bartenders work for tips it would be rude, in my opinion, to try and cheat these workers. But when it comes to other wedding vendors my views on tipping may vary from others in the industry.

The hair and makeup artist should be tipped if they work for a salon and are not independent contractors, meaning they are not self-employed. The same for drivers.

I do not think you need to tip the florist, band, photographer, videographer, officiant (you will probably pay him/her a fee), baker, DJ and wedding planner. Valets are similar to waiters and their gratuity is probably included in their contract.

For your wedding planner, you may want to buy a token gift if you’ve been working with him or her for your entire engagement.

Of course do what you think is right and if I missed a vendor comment or email me and I put in my two cents.

And while a gratuity may not be necessary it’s always a good idea to write a thank-you note.

UPDATE: Of course if you think the band, DJ, wedding planner, etc... did an amazing job you can give them an extra few bucks -- the total amount is up to you but $50 or $100 is probably average per person.