I Want My Niece, She’s 3, to Be My Flower Girl But Not to Stay for the Reception. How Do I Tell My Sister?

You just have to tell her, but it’s your decision whether you want to be sincere or demanding in your approach.

I would suggest to her that they hire a sitter to come to the wedding and watch their daughter in another room or bring her back home so that your sister and her husband can have a great time at the reception.  Here you’re showing her that you’re thinking of her and not your wedding.

The other option is to be blunt and tell your sister you're planning an adult-only reception and that she must find sitter coverage for her daughter.

Since people are very sensitive when it comes to issues regarding their children I would  offer to help find them a sitter if they need assistance or even offer to pay for the coverage if you think money is the deciding factor.

We Have a Lot of Nieces & Nephews Coming to the Wedding, How Do We Ensure They're Entertained and Their Parents Have a Good Time Too?

Many couples will reserve a room at the reception venue for a babysitter to watch and entertain kids so their parents can enjoy the reception. Or you can also have the kids watched in a room at the hotel everyone is staying at.

I wouldn’t create a mini-reception for the kids with a DJ, but you can have a room with kid-friendly food, a TV with DVDs and video games. Make sure you have a babysitter to watch them. Having the kids close by means moms and dads can check in on them and if there’s an emergency the sitter can notify the parents quickly.

If you do decide to have the kids at the reception ask the parents before putting their kids at the kids’ table -- some may feel their three year old is better off with them then on his own. Tell the caterer how many children (under the age of 16) will be there so he can prepare enough kids’ meals and set-up the kids’ table with some activities. Coloring books or sketch pads with colored pencils will keep them busy, but don’t be surprised if they take over the dance floor.

My Three Year Old Niece is Adorable But I Really Don’t Want Kids at My Wedding, How Do I Tell My Sister?

I would be honest early so that she has enough time to find a babysitter. If you don’t feel comfortable saying that the wedding isn’t really appropriate for children, due to the menu, time and other factors, you can phrase it in a way that sounds like you’re thinking of her and her spouse.

For example: “I don’t think you and Bill will have fun if you’re worried about Sara. Why don’t you hire a sitter to watch her so you can celebrate with us.”

You may also want to add that you want her in the family photos and then the sitter can take over.

If your wedding is at a hotel you can have the sitter stay in a hotel room so the parents can run up if they want to. And you should splurge on a few kid-firendly DVDs, snacks and toys -- a kid-friendly guest room gift of sorts.

If your sister insists that her daughter attends the wedding don’t fight her on it, just order a kid's meal and make sure there’s room at her parents’ table for her.

We’re Having a Few Kids at the Wedding, What Should We Serve Them?

If the kids are under 13 you should talk to your caterer about having kids’ meals made. Young children will probably not enjoy what the adults are eating and why should you pay $100+ for each child to not eat their food.

Many caterers offer chicken fingers and fries, pasta with butter or marinara, mac n cheese and other kid-friendly dishes at a fraction of the cost of an adult meal.

Give your caterer a head count of how many kids are coming and decide with him if you should offer more than one option. It may or may not effect the price.

Cocktail hours usually offer enough of a variety so you don’t have to plan a special kids’ menu for it.

What Do We Do If a Guest Shows Up With an Uninvited Date or Their Kids?

Make them feel welcome.

On the day of your wedding you don’t want to focus your energies on arguing with a guest so just let it go and let the caterer figure out the seating issue. If you want to say something you can but unless you ask them both (or the family) to leave you’re probably going to get into an argument with the end result that they’re staying. Why not enjoy your wedding and say something after you return from your honeymoon.

As for costs, the caterer will probably tack on an extra fee for the adult guest but kids will either eat free if they are under 3 or pay a reduced rate.

This situation is also ideal for your wedding planner (day-of or full service) to handle or designate a member of the bridal party or close relative/friend handle any situation that arises.

Remember this is your wedding day. Don’t let anyone ruin it for you.

And if it’s an RSVP card that comes back with uninvited guests listed as attending you can call the invited guest and tell him or her that you’re sorry but they can’t bring a date or their kids because the space doesn’t allow for it.