Plan Your Dream Destination Wedding

Thinking of having a destination wedding? Watch today's episode of From "I Will" to "I Do" to learn what you should be thinking of before you book the trip and all the vendors you'll need to pull off your wedding day, weekend and even week away!

We have some of the industry's biggest names in destination wedding planning including, Erika Hueneke of Destination Weddings & Honeymoons magazine, Mary Bartolucci from Island Style Weddings, Gabriella Risatti of Gabriella New York and Aimee Monihan of Tropical Occasions. 

We’re Having a Destination Wedding in the Caribbean, Can I Still Have a Formal Wedding?

Of course you can but think about where the wedding is going to be and let that dictate the tone.  If your ceremony is being held on a beach and the reception at an outdoor restaurant you may not be comfortable in a heavy ball gown, nor will your guests in long gowns and tuxedos.

If however the ceremony and reception will be held in a grand hotel ballroom, where there is air conditioning, formal attire shouldn’t be an issue.

But if you want a formal wedding why are you choosing a location that lends itself to a more casual setting? Make sure that you and your fiance choose a geographic locale as well as a venue that will bring your vision to life.  You don’t want to fight with the venue look and feel, you want to work with it.

Will Having a Destination Wedding Discourage People From Coming to Our Wedding?

Not necessarily. If you're planning a destination wedding because you don’t want to have a lot of people then don’t invite a lot of people to your wedding.
If pressure from your parents is causing you to grow the guest list offer this compromise: A small wedding ceremony and reception then go on your honeymoon and allow your parents to host a post-wedding reception bash in your honor when you're back. You can also have a small ceremony in your hometown and then a few days (or weeks) later have a reception with the larger guest list.

The bottom line: Only invite the people (or number of people) you want to celebrate with you. Never assume people won’t come. Everyone loves a wedding, especially if it's at a fabulous location.

P.S. Remember that couple who invited 200 people to their wedding in Barbados I wrote about. They thought maybe 80 people would fly Mother’s Day weekend to their wedding and in the end 180 RSVP’d yes. Everyone had a wonderful time, but the couple’s budget ended up being a lot bigger than they had planned.

We Want to Get Married Abroad. Should We Hire a Wedding Planner in the States or from the Country We’re Getting Married In?

If you can’t find a wedding planner in the States who has experience working at the destination and who doesn’t speak the language you should search for a planner at the destination.  Someone who also speaks English. You have to be able to communicate clearly with the planner and vendors.

The Internet of course is a great search tool but just because a planner shows up #1 in a Google search doesn't mean they’re the right planner for you. If you’ve decided on a venue ask them for recommendations.

You may also want to look online and in magazines for destination weddings in your area and if there is a credit for a planner search them out.  Another great resource is Destination Weddings & Honeymoons magazine. They should have both real weddings from around the world and advertisements for planners you can research.

And if you do hire a planner in the States know that you will have to cover their travel costs to the destination and accommodations, so get all of their costs and responsibilities in writing.

A Marriage License for Your Destination Wedding

Once you pick a destination for your wedding you must find out how one gets married there, whether it be a state or another country.  Remember that each state in the U.S. has its own laws regarding obtaining a marriage license and every country in the world has it's own laws too, so don't assume you can just land at an airport, go to a government building and get hitched the next day.  In some cases a blood test is required, others may insist on a residency requirement and some may have a waiting period of 24 hours or more before a license can be used.

To save yourself the time you may opt to get legally married in the city/state you live in before or after your wedding.  This doesn't mean that the civil ceremony isn't a special occasion.  You can invite your parents, siblings and/or closest friends to bear witness, get dressed up and even go out to eat after the "I dos."

Some couples choosing to get married abroad, including Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, will have a civil ceremony before they leave for the country they are getting married in to avoid residency and other legal requirements.

And look at it this way, now you'll definitely need a second wedding dress!

Secret Celebrity Weddings on WEtv

Okay, so this post is a bit of a plug.  I was interviewed months ago on Secret Celebrity Weddings - a special for WEtv that will air tonight and probably re-air many times in the future.

One of the things I learned about secret celebrity weddings is that while the main reason for the secret is to protect their privacy everyday people can do some of the same things for their own wedding.

Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick had a surprise wedding - they surprised their guests who just though they were going to a party.  You can do the same thing, though I would wear a wedding dress instead of a black dress like SJP wore.  She's been quoted as saying that the black dress was her one regret.

Ben Affleck and Jennifer garner were married on a tropical island with one witness - their offiicant, the bride's co-star, Victor Garber.  There are plenty of secluded beaches you can choose for an intimate wedding.  Talk to local resorts and hotels on the island of your choice to find out what your options are.

You can watch the show to learn more about secret celebrity weddings, but when looking to celebrities for wedding inspiration remember that there are ways to have those details at your budget.  Just think creatively.

What's a Destination Wedding?

I went to a trade event today hosted by Destination Weddings & Honeymoon magazine and there were a variety of hotels and resorts from across the country and around the world - though mainly Caribbean destinations - exhibiting.

Each resort offers amazing amenities and unbelievable wedding and honeymoon packages but there was a discussion as to whether a destination wedding could be described as a wedding taking place in the continental 48 states that I wanted to address in this post.

A destination wedding is a wedding held at a location that neither the bride and groom call home and one where they as well as many if not all of their guests will be traveling to.  So for example, if you call New York home and get married in Napa or Charleston or Aspen you are having a destination wedding just as if you were getting married at an international location, such as theUSVI, Mexico or Italy.

If you are planning a destination wedding then here are some of my planning tips you may want to follow:

1.  Hire a wedding planner who is either based at the location of your wedding or very familiar with the area.

2.  Try and hire as many vendors in the local area as possible so you don't have to fly vendors in.  You will have to pay for their transportation and accommodations as well as their fee.

3.  Don't over schedule activities for your guests.  Besides the wedding, rehearsal dinner and post-wedding brunch you can suggest activities but you don't have to pay for every activity your guests take part in.  And remember this is a vacation for them and they may just want to relax by the pool.

4.  If you are making guest room gifts or out-of-town baskets for your guests make sure to include information on local resources such as a pharmacy, doctor, restaurants and attractions.  If they speak a foreign language you may want to make a mini-translation guide.

5.  If you can - and with the help of your wedding planner or hotel - try to arrange group transportation to and from the airport.  Your guests will appreciate it.

6.  When making your guest list follow the general wedding guideline that 10% of your guests will not be able to attend.  Don't assume that just because it's a destination most people won't make it.  You don't want to invite 200 people thinking 80 will come and then end up with 180.  Especially if your budget will only allow for 80.  Only invite those people you really want to be there and the number of people you can afford to have.

7.  Create a wedding website to keep guests informed of hotel and flight discount rates you've arranged as well as weekend activities so they can plan accordingly.

Rehearsal Dinner Idea

Just because the name of the event is "rehearsal dinner" doesn't mean it has to be a formal dinner or even a dinner. You can plan an afternoon event if you'll be getting up on the early side or you can plan a themed event, which is great for weddings where a lot of guests have traveled to be there - destination wedding or not.

Think about what your interests are and what you think your guests will enjoy.

You can make it a tournament if your guests are sports enthusiasts: football, baseball, basketball, volleyball, etc...

You can make it a movie night and rent a movie theatre or a screening room at the hotel. Don't make it a film about the two of you. Pick a favorite or a theme that compliments the wedding.

You can plan a casino night or a day of fishing and rent a boat.

So when planning your rehearsal dinner get creative. You can still have toasts or roasts to the happy couple and hand out thank you gifts to the bridal party whatever setting you choose.

Making it Legal

I was watching an old episode of How I Met Your Mother last night and the story revolved around Marshall and Lily eloping to Atlantic City. They just decided that morning that they wanted to get married immediately and rush off to AC to say, “I do.”

When they got to the wedding chapel they were asked to present a marriage license, which they didn’t have. The clerk at the chapel (not the court) explained that Atlantic City is not Las Vegas and to get married anywhere in the state of New Jersey you need to apply for a marriage license at a courthouse. And in addition to the license there is a waiting period, so you can’t get a license and married in the same day.

It’s very important to find out in advance of your wedding – months and weeks, and not days before – what the license requirements are in the state you are getting married in. Every state in the United States has its own laws and policies and you need to get a license in the state you are getting married in, not the state you live in. This is very important to remember!

And if you are having a destination wedding you have to follow the marriage license laws in the country you are getting married in. Some countries have waiting periods and/or residency requirements. If either are more than a few days you may want to consider a civil ceremony in your hometown before you leave or when you get back.

Scouting Locations

If you're getting married in the town you currently live in then scouting the ceremony and reception sites won't be hard. You'll probably visit a few different locations before settling on the perfect venue for your wedding. But, if you're planning to get married somewhere else - a destination wedding - finding a ceremony and reception site may not be as easy.

Looking online, reading local wedding magazines and hiring a local wedding planner are all things I recommend doing in order to help you find the perfect venue. However, I do not recommend signing a contract with any venue until you get a chance to see it in person. You don't want to fall in love with a site based on images from their Web site and then get there and find out the place you already gave a deposit to isn't exactly how it looked in the pictures.

Take the time to visit the city you are getting married in, scout a few locations and meet with several vendors while you're there. You can even make the trip a mini-moon. Throw in some romantic meals and relaxation time and enjoy some time away.

Win in a Martha Stewart Weddings at Sandals

To celebrate the launch of the new Martha Stewart Weddings packages at Sandals resorts the MSW team at Sandals Emerald Bay in the Bahamas will create a dream wedding for one lucky couple! The prize package will include:

• A wedding created especially for you by Martha Stewart’s team at Sandals Emerald Bay in Great Exuma, Bahamas.


• The bride and groom will receive a six-day and five-night Luxury Included stay at the resort.


• 10 of their guests will receive a four-day and three-night Luxury Included stay at the resort.


• Round trip airfare for the winning couple and ten guests.


• All stays include meals, unlimited premium brand beverages, daily and nightly entertainment.

To enter visit marthastewartweddings.com. Couples are asked to send in a 90-second video on why you and your fiance want to win a Martha Stewart Wedding at Sandals. All entries must be submitted by January 20, 2010 and a winner will be announced in February.

Good luck, and one more thing...the wedding will be featured in Martha Stewart Weddings magazine!

Destination Wedding Tip: If you are planning a destination wedding because you want to keep the guest list small then only invite those people you want to attend. Never assume that just because you are having a destination wedding people won't want to/be able to go. The general rule is that 10% of your guests won't be able to make it and that rule applies to destination weddings too. So if you want 80 guests invite 80-90 people, don't invite 180 and assume that 100 people will send their regrets.

Friendly Email Reminders

We're off to a wedding this weekend and since no one including the bride and groom are from Newport, Rhode Island it is definitely a destination wedding.

The groom emailed guests about 10 days ago with a list of recommended sites and restaurants so we could make plans ahead of time and enjoy the weekend away. Since the couple didn't create a wedding Web site I thought his email was a great idea.

While I am an organizer when it comes to trips -- I like to plan the whole thing weeks before we take off -- I haven't had time to really look into happenings around Newport and it turns out it's Restaurant Week. In his email he gave us a list of his top picks and enough notice so we were sure to get a reservation at the spots we wanted to try.

Of course a wedding Web site is great to update your guests on wedding planning information, a friendly email with reminders and information doesn't hurt, and it doesn't cost anything either. I highly recommend putting information together -- especially when guests are traveling to a location -- and sending it to guests ahead of time so they can make plans for meals and activities during non-wedding activity times.

Making a Destination Wedding Legal

I was doing some research on celebrity weddings and I realized that a lot of celebs get married abroad. But in the details of the wedding it doesn’t mention that if you want to legally get married at an international destination you have to get a license – just like in the States – and that some countries have specific requirements that you must follow. When celebrities say “I do” abroad they also have to follow the law.

Remember when Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes got hitched in Italy? They actually had civil ceremony in California that made their wedding legal. The same thing for Bruce Willis. His Caribbean wedding wasn’t actually legal until he and his bride tied the knot in a civil ceremony after they returned from their intimate ceremony and reception abroad.

When planning an international destination wedding I recommend working with a wedding planner. In addition to helping you find quality vendors, he or she can also help you navigate getting a license.

Some countries are stricter than others when it comes to a marriage license. In France you have to be a resident for 30 days while in some Caribbean islands you only have to be there for a few days to get a license. There’s nothing wrong with getting married abroad and then making it legal in a civil (or religious) ceremony back home. And there’s no reason you need to tell anyone about your second wedding unless you want to.

Quick Destination Wedding Tip

If you are planning to have a destination wedding because you want to keep the wedding small and intimate then don't invite more people than those few you want to include. Never assume that because you're having a destination people won't travel to it. They may have always wanted to go to that location and your wedding is the perfect excuse to go.

The general rule is that you are safe to assume that 10% of your invited guests will send their regrets, but when it comes to a destination wedding I recommend you only send invites to those must-haves and not take a chance on inviting others who you don't really want there but feel that you have to invite them.

The good thing about a destination wedding and guest lists is that your family and friends will probably assume you are only inviting a limited number and won't be insulted when they don't receive an invite in the mail.

Martha Stewart Weddings + Sandals = A Match Made in Wedding Heaven

I had the pleasure of enjoying lunch and an announcement from Martha Stewart Weddings and Sandals on the Lady Sandals yacht yesterday afternoon. MSWeddings has partnered with Sandals and Beaches resorts in the Caribbean to create Sandals Weddings by Martha Stewart.

At the press announcement we got to see the six (6) wedding designs brides and grooms can choose from. Of course they were all unbelievably gorgeous and one feature I liked was that you can choose to serve a traditional wedding cake or cupcakes at your reception.

The wedding themes start at $1500 and include a personal wedding consultant, officiant and a myriad of wedding details to choose from in a coordinated color palette. Each package starts with a different base price.

The packages include Flutter of Romance (shown below), Beautiful Beginnings, Chic & Natural, Vision in White, Seaside Serenade (shown above) and Island Paradise.

You can begin browsing the weddings at sandals.com and Sandals Weddings by Martha Stewart can be reserved now for weddings any time after January 1, 2010. There are 18 Luxury Included Sandals Resorts and Beaches Resorts across the Caribbean for couples to choose from.

Amenities For Your Destination Wedding

Dave and I are taking RB on a mini-vacation this weekend, and with the baby there's so many more things we need to worry about:  Diapers, bottles, pacifiers, formula.  The list goes on and on.  In theory we could buy things where we're headed but I don't want to take a chance that a drug store will be open at 2 a.m. when I need more wipes, for example.  

So of course we're over packing.  RB even has her own suitcase. 

When planning your destination wedding assume your guests are going to forget something or at least need something while they're away.  Some hotels will have a stash of toothbrushes and shaving cream available but what if they need hair gel or sunscreen or just batteries for an electric razor.

Check with your hotel about local amenities and give your guests that information in the guest room gift you're making for their arrival.  You should include drug stores, doctors, babysitting services, car services and any other type of business that you think is important for them to know.  Hopefully no one will need to refer to the list but if they do, they'll appreciate that you put one together for them.

Help With Your Playlist

I’m sorry I missed yesterday, but I’m still caught up in all the post-election hoopla. Dave thought after Tuesday I’d stop paying attention to politics, but I find that I’m more interested now. Anyway, back to blogging.

Do you remember that wedding we went to in Barbados in 2007? The couple hired a local DJ but the groom was so paranoid that the DJ wouldn’t play great music that as a back-up plan he downloaded hundreds of songs onto his iPod.

After the DJ came and set everything up, the groom went over to him and told him that he created a playlist for the reception and that he should just plug the iPod into the speaker system. The groom did a great job. The party went on for hours and everyone had a great time. Though the DJ looked bored sitting there all night with nothing to do.

If this is something you’re thinking of doing, you might want to hire a professional music service to create a playlist for your cocktail hour, background music during dinner and dancing. I read about a company in the NY Times earlier this week that creates playlists for consumers and business. audiostiles will work with you to create the perfect playlist for your event. Either they'll email you a list of songs for your playlist or send you a CD with all the songs on them.

For weddings, they charge $75 per hour with a 2-3 hour minimum, plus the cost of songs. You can learn more about them by visiting their Web site, audiostiles.com.

Destination Wedding: Hawaii

While many brides plan a Hawaiian honeymoon, you may want to think of getting hitched there too! From a beach-front settings to a volcano in the background, Hawaii has a lot to offer a couple getting married with just a few close friends or the whole gang.


I recently spoke with Evonne Wong, owner of Events by Evonne in Maui. 99% of the weddings she plans/designs are destination weddings. Here are her top two planning tips for brides thinking of getting married on one of the Hawaiian Islands:

What’s the first thing a bride needs to do when deciding on having a destination wedding in Hawaii?

After the bride and groom discuss their budget and size of their guest list, they need to decide which island they want to get married on, since every Hawaiian island has different things to offer. The Hawaii’s Visitors & Convention Bureau is a good place to start.

A bride should do her homework and research. The most important thing is to find a reputable wedding planner who can handle all the intricate details of the wedding. The planner should know who the best vendors are and where the best locations are on the island. Once you hire your wedding planner, the rest of the planning will be seamless.

How do you work with brides from a distance?

When a couple is not familiar with local location and vendors, they have to rely on the wedding planner to help them with all of their details. About 90% of the couples I work with fly out to Hawaii for a scouting trip about 9 to 12 months prior to their wedding. I highly recommend couples make the trip because it gives me an opportunity to meet with them in person and get to know them better as we check out all of the locations and meet with vendors. We also spend time finalizing some of the wedding day details, such as the menu and cake through tastings.



Now I’ve never been to Hawaii, but I hear it’s beautiful, and if you're looking for a tropical destination wedding within the 50 states, Hawaii is the only place to go.

For more Hawaiian wedding planning tips, check out Evonne's blog.

Destination Wedding: Setting the Scene

I am still getting used to being back in New York. We had the best time at the wedding in Barbados. The next few posts will be about the destination wedding I just attended. I didn't bring a camera (I need to buy one), so I'm waiting for our friends' pictures to get e-mailed to me.

The wedding took place on an estate the couple rented, and they let the environment around them help set the scene.

For the ceremony guests sat in the center of a manicured lawn, surrounded by palm trees, feet from the shore.

To help guests cool off before the wedding, bamboo fans were placed on each chair. A tag with the couple's names and wedding date were attached to the handle with ribbon. These were great for both cooling off and as a shade to protect my shoulders from a sunburn.

Since the wedding took place in the late afternoon, the bride rented chandeliers that were placed in the tents and over the yard for lighting. The ceremony area was used for dancing and relaxing after dinner.

Depending on what gets sent to me tomorrow, I'll write about some of the other wedding details or parties that took place over the long weekend.

Thanks to Sanford and Adrienne for this photo.

Newport Weddings

Catherine Abbate's Wedding Room is the source for planning a wedding in Newport, RI, or along the Narragansett Bay.

Planning a destination wedding is very different than planning a wedding in your hometown. If you're not familiar with the local area, you definitely need to hire an expert who can steer you towards the right vendors.

The Wedding Room offers brides and grooms a chance to view portfolios of talented vendors in the Newport area. For a nominal fee, you can meet with Catherine, or one of her experienced associates, to create a planning timeline and learn about vendors who can create the perfect day for you, within your budget.