My DJ Asked If We Were Having an In-Laws Dance. What Is It?

An in-laws dance is a special dance where the bride dances with her father-in-law and the groom dances with his mother-in-law. You choose one song for both couples to dance to at the same time. You can have the in-laws dance at any point during the reception but I would suggest after the first dance, father/daughter and groom/mother dances.

Choose a song that appeals to all four people instead of one that’s about daughters or mothers. Your DJ (or band) should have recommendations for you.

It’s not a very common special dance so make sure your photographer and videographer are aware that it is taking place and when so they capture it on film.

It’s entirely up to you if you want to have one. Base the decision on the feelings and relationships of all four people involved. For example, if it’s known that the groom and your mom don’t get along you may not want to force them to dance together.

I Want to Share My Father-Daughter Dance With My Dad and Stepdad. How Can I?

Well you have two options. You can dance two separate dances and choose a special song for each one or you can begin dancing with your dad and have your stepdad cut in about half-way through.

Talk to your band/DJ to find out what they recommend. Two special dances plus the groom and his mom’s dance make about 8-10 minutes and to be honest after about the first 30 seconds no one is really paying attention. To keep your guests in the party mood you may want to choose one song.

But if you’d prefer two, break up the dances. Share the first dance with dad between the first and second course and the second dance with your stepdad between the second and dessert. Or vice versa.

Your Mom Has Been Dreaming of Your Wedding Longer Than You Have

If you’re a basketball fan you probably just learned that LeBron James has decided to go to the Miami Heat.

Now to be honest, I don’t really care except that Dave would have liked it if he came to NY, but LeBron said something in the interview this evening that caught my attention.

He said he had a conversation with his mom this morning and that talk helped him confirm his decision to go to Miami.

You know your mom has been dreaming of your wedding since you were born. I know as soon as I learned we were having a girl I started thinking of her wedding. And when Dave danced around the apartment with her at three months old I thought of the father-daughter dance they would share one day.

I know I work in weddings so it’s weddings all the time by me, but it’s important that you realize how much this day means to your parents. So when you are planning your wedding include them in the planning process. Ask them for their opinions. Ask them to join you when you meet with vendors. Don’t just include them in discussions on money.

Trust me, you’ll have a much better planning process and wonderful memories from this time if you do.

And by the way, his mom has been thinking of her son’s wedding since he was a baby too so don’t forget to include your future mother-in-law in some of the plans.

Asking Dad for Permission

I don't know why but I was thinking about the TV show Little House on the Prairie this evening and I thought, "I have to do a blog post, is there something from Little House that could inspire me." And of course there was!

I don't know how familiar you are with the series but Laura falls in love with Almonzo who is several years older than her and finally, he falls in love with her and wants to marry her.  Before they can marry he has to get her Pa's permission.  Manly, as she calls him, asks Mr. Ingalls if he can marry his daughter and he says yes but they have to wait two years till she's 16 or 18 - I forget which one.

Anyway, Manly says that he doesn't want to wait and leaves Walnut Grove.  Very long story short, Mr. Ingalls finally says they only have to wait a year.

It's an outdated tradition to have your father's permission to marry and I think most grooms won't ask dad for his permission but rather his blessing.  I think my dad was a little upset that Dave didn't talk to him before proposing because once he said something under his breath.  Maybe I should have told Dave that he should talk to my dad before proposing because it didn't occur to him to do that.

If you think your dad would like to be "asked" before you get engaged make sure to say something to your future groom, and if you're already engaged and he didn't talk to your dad, maybe your groom can take the initiative and plan an outing with your dad so the two of them can get to know each other better.