My Three Year Old Niece is Adorable But I Really Don’t Want Kids at My Wedding, How Do I Tell My Sister?

I would be honest early so that she has enough time to find a babysitter. If you don’t feel comfortable saying that the wedding isn’t really appropriate for children, due to the menu, time and other factors, you can phrase it in a way that sounds like you’re thinking of her and her spouse.

For example: “I don’t think you and Bill will have fun if you’re worried about Sara. Why don’t you hire a sitter to watch her so you can celebrate with us.”

You may also want to add that you want her in the family photos and then the sitter can take over.

If your wedding is at a hotel you can have the sitter stay in a hotel room so the parents can run up if they want to. And you should splurge on a few kid-firendly DVDs, snacks and toys -- a kid-friendly guest room gift of sorts.

If your sister insists that her daughter attends the wedding don’t fight her on it, just order a kid's meal and make sure there’s room at her parents’ table for her.

We’re Having a Few Kids at the Wedding, What Should We Serve Them?

If the kids are under 13 you should talk to your caterer about having kids’ meals made. Young children will probably not enjoy what the adults are eating and why should you pay $100+ for each child to not eat their food.

Many caterers offer chicken fingers and fries, pasta with butter or marinara, mac n cheese and other kid-friendly dishes at a fraction of the cost of an adult meal.

Give your caterer a head count of how many kids are coming and decide with him if you should offer more than one option. It may or may not effect the price.

Cocktail hours usually offer enough of a variety so you don’t have to plan a special kids’ menu for it.

Entertainment for Kids at a Wedding

If you're planning on inviting children to your wedding you may want to consider supplying them with an activity to keep them busy.

Really little ones will have to sit with their parents but if they're over 18 months you can have coloring books and crayons available to them.  Older kids may need something more exciting so visit a local toy story for activity books, small games they can play at the table or if you can afford it and have a large number of kids you may want to hire a magician, clown or other kid-friendly entertainer.

It's okay to set up a designated kids' table but if you're not sure if a child is old enough to sit away from his or her parents just ask.

Another option if you don't really want children there but can't say no, ask the reception venue if they have a room you can use as a "daycare center."  Hire a babysitter or two and stick it with kid-friendly foods, games and even some DVDs if there's a TV.  Parents will be close by to pop in or in case of an emergency and still be able to have a great time at your reception.

Bringing (Uninvited) Baby and Kids to the Wedding

My sister went to an engagement party over the weekend and she called me the morning of the party to ask an etiquette question:  Would it be okay to bring her baby to the party?

My first response was what happened to the babysitter.  Nothing they (his parents) were still planning on babysitting.

My second response was to ask if the baby was invited to the party to begin with.  She wasn't sure.  So I asked if the envelope the invitation came in read : Mr. & Mrs or The Smith Family?  She hesitated but said just to the two of them.  So I told her I didn't think it would be appropriate to bring the baby.  It was clear to me that she wasn't invited.

She asked me if there was any way she could bring the baby and I told her that she could call and ask the host if it was okay but since the reason wasn't that the babysitter canceled at the last minute she would have to just ask nicely and hope that her friend said it was okay.  Which she did.

If you get a call from a guest who at the last minute wants to bring their kids it's up to you to make the cal based on space, money and your relationship to the guests.

In some instances there physically will be no more room at the site.  If the kids are over the age of 4 their parents may expect you to cover their meal - that will cost you money and you also have to find out if the caterer can do a kids meal at the last minute.  Is your wedding kid-friendly?  Your guests won't know in advance but you will - think about whether there will be other kids there and what entertainment will be there for the kids.

In the end it's your call and be prepared for the parents to say that if the kids can't come they can't make it.  I would hope this won't ruin your relationship but you know your guests better than me so make sure that you are comfortable with your decision - financially as well as emotionally.

Hiring a Babysitter for Kids At Your Wedding

I recently posted a story on aisledash.com on ways to keep kids entertained at a wedding and it focused on entertainment and activities for the kids.

Someone on Twitter commented about hiring a babysitter and then I spoke with a former wedding planner who mentioned that she loved using companies that specialized in babysitters for weddings and events because you could trust that the sitters employed by the company had gone through background checks and had been vetted to make sure they were safe and qualified to care for kids.

So if you're planning on having kids at your wedding and thinking of hiring a babysitter so their parents can have a good time, either hire a sitter you know personally or Google a professional sitter service to be on the safe side.

Occupying Kids at the Wedding

If you're having kids at your wedding - older than the infant/toddler stage - you should think about providing some activities to keep them busy.

I'm not suggesting that you hire a magician or face painter but you may want to buy some coloring books and colored pencils (markers may run and stain hands and clothes) so that while they're at the reception they are occupied.

While parents may take their kids for a spin on the dance floor, they will need something to keep their littles ones busy when everyone is eating or listening to toasts.  Coloring books are inexpensive and popular with boys and girls in a wide age range.

Trust me.  They'll thank you for this thoughtful gesture.

Quick Tip: Babies in Your Bridal Party

Yes babies are cute - I have one so I know. They coo and giggle and men and women have been known to go gaga over them. But when it comes to your wedding you have to think about the bigger picture.

A baby who can't walk or even one who just started, let's just say anyone under 5, may need to be accompanied down the aisle by a parent or close relative. A child that young may easily get stage fright and freeze halfway down the aisle or worse start crying and screaming.

To prevent either from happening either have an adult walk or carry the little one down the aisle. If he or she is big enough to walk on his or her own then have a friendly face drop him/her off at the start of the aisle and another friendly face near the altar. This way he or she has someone to walk to.

The truth is it won't be the end of the world if your little flower girl or ring bearer doesn't make it down the aisle in the end. Just make sure that there is a friendly face who can either help him or her on their way or scoop him or her up in case of a baby meltdown.