Do I Have to Tell the Caterer How Many Vegetarian, Vegan and Other Dietary Restricted Meals We’ll Need?

Your caterer will probably prepare a certain number of vegetarian meals based on his experience of the percentage of guests who usually ask for one. If you know that there will be X-number of vegetarian guests at your wedding you can share that information so he’s aware of a minimum number of vegetarian meals to offer.

Vegan, gluten-free, kosher and other special meals should be ordered in advance since your caterer may not include them in his usually tally. Some of these meals may cost an additional fee.

Be sure to tell your caterer how many of each special meals there are, and if you can which table each guest will be at so the waiter brings the right meal to the right table.

You may not be aware of every guests’ dietary restrictions, including allergies, but your guests do. They’ll know to ask if something is made with nuts or has mushrooms in it and will take care of themselves. You don’t have to prepare for every possible situation.

I also suggest talking to your caterer about what they can do for guests with dietary restrictions and if they should prepare a few dishes on the side just in case or if you need an exact number to order in advance.

We’re Having a Few Kids at the Wedding, What Should We Serve Them?

If the kids are under 13 you should talk to your caterer about having kids’ meals made. Young children will probably not enjoy what the adults are eating and why should you pay $100+ for each child to not eat their food.

Many caterers offer chicken fingers and fries, pasta with butter or marinara, mac n cheese and other kid-friendly dishes at a fraction of the cost of an adult meal.

Give your caterer a head count of how many kids are coming and decide with him if you should offer more than one option. It may or may not effect the price.

Cocktail hours usually offer enough of a variety so you don’t have to plan a special kids’ menu for it.

Wedding Cakes and Alternative Dessert Options

Wedding cakes are the centerpiece of your wedding reception. They are usually on display -- in a prominent spot -- throughout the evening, but if there's another sweet you'd prefer to serve your wedding guests, a wedding cake is not your only option.

Cupcakes have become very popular over the past five years as the wedding cake alterative of choice, but you can also serve pies, cookies, donuts or another dessert favorite at the end of the night.

And serving an "untraditional" wedding dessert doesn't mean you have to forgo the wedding cake completely. Have your caterer or baker make a small three-tiered wedding cake for you to cut before the dessert course. It will make a great photo-op and instead of serving it at your reception you can have each tier frozen to enjoy on your wedding anniversary.

The Kids' Menu

Kids of all ages love the kids' menu.  I remember my cousin's bat mitzvah party 10 years ago where there were two cocktail hours.  One for the adults with a quartet and fancy hors d'oeuvres (crab cakes, mini lamb chops, cheese bar - it wasn't kosher) and the kid cocktail hour with a DJ and kid-friendly hors d'oeuvres (pigs in a blanket, sliders and mac n cheese).


I remember that a lot of the adults were in the kids room and my aunt was annoyed because she was spending all this money on fancy food and all everyone wanted was kid-friendly fare.


You may want to consider adding some childhood favorites to your wedding's cocktail hour because it really is food that everyone will enjoy.  And if you and your fiance are fans of something specific don't be afraid to add it to the menu.


You know I love pigs in a blanket but there are a lot of other fun finger foods that you can serve:  sliders, fries, mac n cheese, chicken fingers and mini-pizzas are just a few ideas.  Talk to your caterer about different menu options and ask your parents and close friends what their favorite cocktail hour foods are too.

Dessert Course Idea

If you and your fiance are thinking of serving a dessert course in addition to wedding cake here are two ideas you may want to consider:

1 - Select two dessert items and serve each one to every other guest.  Since many of your guests will be couples and likely to share with each other, every guest will get to enjoy both desserts.

2 - Give each guest a tasting plate with two or three desserts in a smaller size so that each guest can enjoy a little bite of each one.

I like the idea of a dessert medley or dessert tasting plate because not everyone likes chocolate or pies or mousse.  These two options allow you and your guests to enjoy several desserts and pretty much guarantees that everyone will find something on the dessert menu to eat.

Food Allergies and Your Wedding Menu

There is absolutely no way for you to know the food allergies and dietary restrictions of all of your wedding guests.  And you should not take a poll to find out.

Your caterer is a professional and he will know how many vegetarian meals should be made based on the number of guests you are having and his experience and years as a caterer.

As for guests with gluten, peanut and other allergies, they'll know what they can and can't eat and won't be afraid to ask the catering staff if the food contains whatever it is they are allergic to.

If you happen to know that there are some guests who are kosher or vegetarians you can give your caterer a heads up to prepare special meals for these guests, but you do not have to reach out to each guest in advance of the wedding and find out what he or she will or won't eat.

Can You Serve a Vegetarian or Vegan Menu at Your Wedding?

Did you read the article in the Sunday Style section in the New York Times on vegan and vegetarian weddings? Basically the article discussed whether a couple's dietary choices should dicate the wedding menu. So for example, if the bride is vegan should the menu consist of vegan food only.
It's a tough call because on the one hand you want to stand by your convictions if your diet choice is based on conviction, versus an allergy issue.
You would assume a couple who keeps kosher or halal would serve food at their wedding thyat follows kosher/halal guidelines without any questions, but I guess since vegan and vegetarian are seen not as a religious choice but maybe an ethical one the question is whether you would "force" that choice on your wedding guests.

My opinion is that you should serve what you want to serve. Your guests will survive a night without meat if you choose not to serve it. Today most caterers can create a delicious menu that is 100% vegetarian. Vegan and gluten-free may be a bit trickier but if it's really important to you and your groom then do your homework, and make sure to put more money in the catering budget since going against the norm may add to the menu price.