Do I Have to Buy a Plain and Diamond Wedding Band for the Wedding Ceremony?

Of course not.  You can buy one or both -- it’s entirely up to you.

Jewish ceremonies require a plain band, meaning one that is a complete circle and not “broken” with stones. But this doesn’t mean you have to buy them.  Many couples exchange their parents’ or grandparents’ rings and then slip on their “real” wedding bands after the ceremony.

If cost is the issue, I would suggest buying wedding bands that you can afford and save up for a diamond wedding band for a special anniversary -- like your 10th, 20th or 25th.

Do We Have to Have a Ring Bearer?

No you don’t have to have a ring bearer.  You can ask the best man to hold the rings or the groom can keep them in his pocket.

Even if you do have a ring bearer, no matter how old he is, he should carry fake rings and have the adults hold onto the real ones.

What’s the Difference Between Having a Wedding Band or a DJ?

Many will say cost, but there are DJs that cost as much as a band. The question you and your fiance have to ask yourselves is: What type of music do you want at your wedding?

A wedding band will play a wide range of songs and can get your guests moving but the songs won’t sound exactly like the original artist. A DJ can play a wider range of songs, can get the crowd moving and their music will be the original recordings.

You can also hire the reception band or DJ to play music during the ceremony and cocktail hour, making it one entertainment company you are working with.

And while I’m not making the case for either one as detailed as a wedding band musician or DJ would, the simple question is what do you want to hear -- the exact song by your favorite artist or can you live with a cover of it?

I’ve been to weddings that had a band and weddings with a DJ and both were great parties. Do your research and try and see the musicians/DJ perform live if possible to get a feel for their sound, energy and how the crowd reacts to them. If the audience is having a great time then your guests will probably enjoy them too.

What Should We Have Engraved On Our Wedding Bands?

There was a recent story in The New York Times on tattoos and one of the tattoo artists interviewed gave the following advice (I’m paraphrasing):

If you go into a tattoo parlor and ask the artist what should you get, don’t get anything.

The same goes for jewelry engraving.

You don’t have to have your rings engraved but if you want to do some research and find something that is meaningful to you and your fiance go ahead.  You don't have have a lot of room so keep it simple. Some timeless ideas are your names, initials, married monogram and/or wedding date. Ask your jeweler how much space you have, and remember that character count means the limit of space you have using any combination of letters, numbers, symbols and spaces.

Does My Wedding Band and Engagement Ring Have to Be Bought and Worn as a Set?

It’s up to you if you want your rings to match and be worn on the same finger. Some brides will buy a wedding band to wear on a different finger or hand than their engagement ring. Or buy a plain band to wear with their engagement ring and buy a second eternity band for their right hand.

Many jewelry designers make wedding bands that match an engagement ring, which is great if your engagement ring’s design makes it difficult to find a band that lies flush against your engagement ring band.

Always check with your officiant if your wedding ceremony calls for certain types of wedding bands to be exchanged. For example, Jewish ceremonies require that the rings exchanged are solid metal with no breaks, meaning no stones. In this instance some couples will buy two bands or borrow their parents’ or grandparents’ bands for the ceremony and after put their, what I call the, fancy ring on.

Just as you did when you shopped for your engagement ring, take your time browsing and trying on wedding bands. See what feels comfortable and looks right either with your engagement ring or alone, and don’t rush the purchase. Just like your engagement ring you’ll be wearing it everyday for many, many years.

We Want Live Music at Our Wedding But Can’t Afford a Full Band. What are Our Options?

Contact an entertainment company that represents both bands and DJs and discuss the option of hiring a DJ and a singer plus an instrument or two to play for part of the reception.

You can have a singer, accompanied by a keyboard and/or guitar and/or horn instrument, to sing and play the music for special dances. Another option is to have live music, such as standards, being sung during dinner instead of canned music and have the DJ play music that gets the crowd on the dance floor.

Be honest about your budget and what you want for your wedding and the vendors you’re meeting with will better be able to help find the right solution for you.

Selecting Your Wedding Bands

There are so many options when it comes to wedding bands: gold, platinum, eternity ... You should take your time picking the right one.

You can choose a simple, solid metallic band or something with a little more bling. Try on rings that you can wear with your engagement ring on the same finger as well as rings you can wear alone.

While diamond wedding bands are very popular, if it's not in your budget right now, choose a simpler style and wait till a big anniversary to receive the diamond one.

If you're having a Jewish ceremony, remember that you will have to exchange rings that have no breaks in them (meaning, no stones), so shop for, or borrow from relatives or friends, a pair of simple gold or platinum wedding rings for your ceremony.