Don't expect your groom to know anything about planning a wedding. He may think that once he proposes he's off the hook as far as wedding responsibilities go until the big day.
It's not his fault that this is the way he thinks planning works - that it's all on you, the bride. But it's up to you to tell him if you need or want his help. Don't expect him to jump into a wedding theme and color palette brainstorming session or just start calling wedding vendors to get pricing information and availability.
If you want his help, after all it's his wedding too, then be clear from the beginning of the process that you want him to be involved and meet with vendors or even research certain vendors and wedding details.
Don't let the wedding day be a complete surprise for him. Part of the fun is planning the wedding so take him with you to appointments and some wedding shows and enjoy cake and champagne together. It'll be a big help to you to have his input and support when making tough decisions, like what color the linens should be. : )
There are some great wedding sites just for guys that he's sure to enjoy. Forward him any or all of these links:
The Man Registry
Temple of Groom
Ben the Groom
Staggered
GroomGroove
9 comments:
I had to explain to my groom what groomsmen were
Thanks Anne and we're always happy to help grooms who need some guidance. I'm not just saying this because we speak to thousands of them per month but blokes really do want to be involved.
You're *so* right that we couldn't give a flying fudgestick about colour palettes (sorry to post to Staggered, but this sums up pretty much all our feelings about colours - http://www.iamstaggered.com/featured/petty-on-pink) but there's loads of stuff that we really do care about - wedding rings, music, food, where it's being held, what we wear, first dance, who's coming, entertainment, transport, the church/ceremony, wedding speeches...it goes on.
We're under no illusions that this is your big day - you've been dreaming about this since you were six, we've been dreaming about football and boobs since we were six but my message would be - don't underestimate it. Explain why it means a lot to you and the chances are that he'll care a lot, as the chances are he digs you quite a lot.
This is great! I love Andrew's comment on what guys care about...My fiance and I were an equal team at first, he was all about picking out the venue and having a say, his opinions are always kick-ass anyway, but I am noticing there are only certain details he is obsessed with.
I love your links here, I had been to two before and I hadn't found the others yet. Good work!
This is great, these registries are something he can do on his own. He will love it!
This is great, these registries are something he can do on his own. He will love it!
It used to bother me that my fiance does not have any interest in wedding stuff at all. I mistook that for getting cold feet or not putting marriage high on his priority list.
Then I mentioned "dinner" and "wedding cake" and he suddenly had lots of opinions. All is well again :)
These are great points! The bride should recognize her groom's strength and use them accordingly. It's also important to understand that its his wedding too and more than likely he WANTS to be a part of the planning process and not just "show up." I have mentioned
that I want to play a big part in choosing the food. I also am going to enjoy planning what I will wear.
Always, always tell the man what you expect of him. They just don't know otherwise. It's true.
@Jen_Heavy Crown too right! And while we're issuing sweeping generalisations don't forget to help any women who are driving because their minds are too full of pictures of kittens to remember how to drive. It's true. I saw a scientist prove it.
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