Should the Groom Buy or Rent a Tuxedo?

His decision should be based on several factors:

Budget: Can he afford the cost of a new tux, or is it more economical to rent one and buy one when he can afford it down the road?

Other Events: If you and your groom will be invited to a number of events in the near future (weddings of friends/relatives, business and charity functions) than it may be better to buy a new one. Renting a tux for every occasion will add up and the cost of buying now may be more affordable in the long run.

Suit Style: For looks that aren’t the classic black tux but have tails or cutaway jackets you may want to rent since you’re not likely to wear this specific style again.

You should also visit both retailers and rental shops and try on different styles to see what looks best on him as well as what all the costs are. Factor in prices for the style of pant and jacket, all the accessories (buttons, cufflinks, ties, vest, cummerbund) and for the number of days you’re going to be renting it.

Grooms Without a Clue

Don't expect your groom to know anything about planning a wedding.  He may think that once he proposes he's off the hook as far as wedding responsibilities go until the big day.

It's not his fault that this is the way he thinks planning works - that it's all on you, the bride.  But it's up to you to tell him if you need or want his help.  Don't expect him to jump into a wedding theme and color palette brainstorming session or just start calling wedding vendors to get pricing information and availability.

If you want his help, after all it's his wedding too, then be clear from the beginning of the process that you want him to be involved and meet with vendors or even research certain vendors and wedding details.

Don't let the wedding day be a complete surprise for him.  Part of the fun is planning the wedding so take him with you to appointments and some wedding shows and enjoy cake and champagne together.  It'll be a big help to you to have his input and support when making tough decisions, like what color the linens should be.  : )

There are some great wedding sites just for guys that he's sure to enjoy.  Forward him any or all of these links:
The Man Registry
Temple of Groom
Ben the Groom
Staggered
GroomGroove

Two Wedding Shoe Tips

So at dinner tonight I must have slipped, and caught myself, a dozen times at the restaurant we were at. Of course Dave wants me to throw at the shoes and I said never, I'll just be more careful.

To which he replied: Just score them before you wear them again, okay.

His favorite wedding planning tip:  Remember to score your shoes and your groom's before the big day so you don't slip down the aisle or on the dance floor.

And a related tip:  Dave bought new shoes this weekend and he called me yesterday to say that they were hurting him and he thought he would have to return them. But I reminded him that it takes time to break in shoes so wear them for the week and see if they feel better.

You and your groom should also break in your shoes before the wedding. You don't want to deal with sore feet and blisters on your wedding day. And it's a good idea to add extra band-aids to your wedding emergency kit in case your feet do hurt.

Come Listen!

That Wedding Show with Anne and Chris (of The Man Registry) has launched on the Wedding Podcast Network!

The show is a mix of wedding trends and happenings and Chris and I debate and discuss some of the most common wedding fights/arguments brides and grooms have - like when to talk about the wedding (brides: not all the time) and how to divide the guest list between the two families.

Click here to listen to the premiere show

And it's about 40 minutes so I'd listen while doing chores in the house or during your commute or at the gym.  I listened to the show at work today with headphones.

And at one point we tell you how you can win free wedding invitations, wedding favors and bridesmaid dresses through the show's sponsor weddingpaperdivas.com.

Can't wait to hear your thoughts and if you have a problem you need help solving email onthecouch@thatweddingshow.com with what you and your groom are arguing about.

A Quick Tip for Grooms

The groomsmen are your responsibility.

Don't make your fiance email and call your friends and relatives to tell them what to wear, where to be and when. The bride has enough to handle, including the bridesmaids, so help her out and take the initiative to find a tux rental shop and make an appointment (tell her when it is so she can be there) and email your guys and make sure they show up.

Then take on the additional responsibility of confirming that they all know when to pick up their tuxedos and that they do the weekend of the wedding.

It's a rather simple task and you'll gain lots of brownie points!

Black Tie or Black Tie Optional

Dave and I recently attended a wedding and in the lower left corner the phrase “Black Tie” was printed, so he decided to rent a tuxedo.

A few weeks before the wedding Dave saw some of the other guests and somehow the wedding came up in conversation.  He mentioned that he was going to rent a tuxedo to which one guy replied, “You don’t need to wear a tuxedo.” It turns out his girlfriend called the bride and asked if a tux was mandatory, and she was told (by the bride) that a black suit was fine. A tuxedo was not mandatory.

After hearing this, Dave’s friend said that they should have printed “Black Tie Optional” so guests knew that they could wear a suit instead of a tux. (I have to admit, I was impressed that he knew this bit of wedding info.)

My point: Before you print your wedding invitation really think about what type of attire you want your guests in: Tuxedos (Black Tie), tuxedos or suits (Black Tie Optional), suits (don’t print anything) and have the appropriate phrase printed, or left blank, on your wedding invitation.

"Flowers" for Your Groom

While most of the floral details will focus on the bride and the reception don’t think of the groom and groomsmen’s boutonnieres as an afterthought. This small accessory can add the groom’s personality to his wedding day look.

Many brides will have their florist select a single bloom from the bride’s bouquet for the groom’s boutonniere but there are other options.

San Francisco based floral designer Erin Rosenow has just launched a complete line of “Bespoke Boutonnieres” under the name Fritts Rosenow that allow the groom to wear a custom designed boutonniere that reflects the wedding’s location, theme or his favorite pastime.  Here are some examples:

What Does Black Tie Really Mean?

So we’re having a little debate in my house. What exactly is Black Tie? We were invited to a wedding and the bottom of the card had “Black Tie” printed on it. We figured evening gown and tux, but then we were told by a friend that the bride said a black suit was fine.

So Dave decided on a black suit, and my evening gown became a fun (and knee-length) party dress.

Then through an email exchange we learned that a black suit is no longer appropriate and that a tux is required. After talking to Dave and looking at what some of the magazine’s have been showing as formal - red carpet looks - I thought that a formal black suit with a “fancy” tie would be fine for Dave and I can still wear my party dress (which I really want to wear).

But the debate goes on… can a guy substitute the classic tuxedo and bowtie for a nice black suit and tie?

If you put “Black Tie” on your invitation what would expect/want your guests to show up in?

Giving the Groom a Say

Many of you may already be familiar with my obsession with pigs-in-a-blanket. I had a conversation with a colleague earlier today who said she knew of a couple where the groom basically told the bride that he will not marry her if they don’t serve PIBs at their cocktail hour.

I’m assuming to some extent he was kidding, but it’s important to note that if your groom is really adamant about having something at the wedding – ceremony or reception – you should really consider letting him have this one detail. Of course if he wants something that’s truly offensive you don’t have to acquiesce to his request. (I always wanted to use that word. I love Pirates of the Caribbean – but just the first one.)

Think about it. Your groom probably doesn’t care what type of flowers you select and he’s probably letting you choose his attire and most of the other details, so let him have something if it’s really important to him. If you’re not sure about it, then sleep on it. Don’t automatically think it’s a bad idea. And don’t automatically say no.

After all, it’s his wedding too, right?

Grooms and Their Cakes

Lets face it, the groom only has so much say in the details of the wedding. So why not surprise him with a cake just for him?

The groom's cake is all about the groom. It should resemble his favorite pastime and taste of his favorite flavors. Remember the red velvet armadillo from "Steel Magnolias"? That cake is the perfect example of a groom's cake - his college team mascot combined with his favorite flavor.

Is he a sport fanatic or food lover? Does he have a hobby or special interest? Bring some ideas to your baker and view their sculpted cakes portfolio to learn what his or her strengths are.

And when it comes to taste, the wedding cake is usually a traditional flavor like chocolate or a white cake. So make the groom's cake something complimentary as well as your fiance's favorite. You can make it passion fruit, red velvet, cheesecake or even strawberry shortcake.



The BLT Sandwich with Pickle cake pictured above was created by Duff Goldman at Charm City Cakes in Baltimore. The Yankee Hat cake on the right was sculpted by Elisa Strauss of Confetti Cakes in New York City.

A Cut Above

As much as there is talk about what the bride should wear and how her make-up and hair should look, there is not enough talk about how the groom should be, well, groomed.

So why not treat your fiance to a haircut and shave by a professional barber for your wedding?

Salons for men are popping up all over the country, with barbers who know what they're doing with a scissor and a straight edge razor. You, and your groom, may be surprised to learn that these barber shops have a wide range of services including, shoe shines, manicures, custom tailoring and amenities such as complimentary beverages and pool tables.

Treat your fiance to a haircut, shave and any other services you think he needs, I mean you think he'd enjoy. He can even make a day out of it and bring his dad, brothers and groomsmen. As with your own hair, you may want to send him for a trial a few weeks or months before the big day to make sure you and he likes what they do.

Here are a few barber shops/salons for men across the country:

The Shave of Beverly Hills
State Street Barbers, Boston
316 Club Barber Spa, Chicago
Belmont Barber Shop, Chicago
The Boardroom Salon, Dallas
John Allan's, New York
Truman's Gentlemen's Groomers, New York
Shaving Grace, Philadelphia
Bay City Barber, San Francisco