How Soon After We Got Engaged Should We Register for Gifts?

Ask yourself these questions:

• Is it assumed that relatives, friends and friends of your parents, or your fiance’s, will send you engagement gifts soon after you’ve announced your engagement?
• Are you planning an engagement party in the next month or two?
• Do you just want to start one because you got engaged?

If you’ve answered yes to any of the above questions then go ahead and start your wedding registry now. You can go online and begin creating it or call the stores you want to register at (remember to pick two or three online and brick and mortar options) and find out if you need an appointment or can walk in and start scanning.

Once you’ve created your wedding registry you can spread the news of where you’ve registered on your wedding website or through word of mouth.

There’s no such thing as registering too soon, however you should edit and delete items as the seasons change and items are discontinued or no longer available. Remember that your wedding is probably 12 months away and the stock in stores will change so you should revise your registry a few weeks before your bridal shower and around the time you mail out your wedding invitations to ensure there are enough items for guests to choose from.

How Soon After We’re Engaged Should We Take Engagement Portraits?

First ask yourself why you're taking engagement portraits. Are you planning on sending an engagement announcement to your local paper? In which case you need to schedule a shoot sooner rather than later. Are the shots going on save-the-date cards? Then you have a few months because you don’t have to send out STD cards until six to nine months before your wedding. Or are you just taking them because you want to have some nice photos to display in your home. In this case you can take them whenever you want -- and with the winter weather blowing in you may want to wait until spring or even summer arrives.

If you’re not in a rush then I would wait until you’ve booked a photographer for your wedding. Using your wedding photographer will give you a chance to get to know each other so on your wedding day you’re both a little more relaxed in front of his camera. You may also be able to get a deal on an engagement shoot since you’ve booked him for the wedding.

When you meet with prospective photographers ask them about including an engagement portrait session in your contract -- how much it will cost, how many prints you get and what they will cost and when he or she recommends doing them. You also want to see some of the engagement portrait sessions they’ve shot.

How Do We Decide Who Sits Near the Band, the Kitchen and the Bar at Our Reception?

Creating your wedding’s seating chart can be tricky, but after you’ve decided which table everyone is sitting at you then have to determine where in the room the tables should go. Someone has to sit near the band or the kitchen or the entrance so think carefully about who may take offense to each location. Here are some tips to guide you:

• Don’t put grandma and grandpa’s table near the band or the DJ’s speaker. They won’t enjoy the loud music or get to speak with their relatives and friends sitting with them. It’s safe to put them toward the back of the room, away from the dance floor.
• While you should put the kids’ table near their parents, you don’t want to put them right on the dance floor, especially if they’re younger than 10. Put them towards the back of the room but not near an exit where a little one can run out quickly and unnoticed.
• The bride and groom’s parent tables should be right on the edge of the dance floor where they can be seen by the other guests.
• Your friends, and the groom’s, may not mind sitting right next to the bar. Another idea is next to the band since older generations may take it as an insult to be so close to the music.
• If someone has to be right next to the out/in doors of the kitchen ask the location manager or caterer to put up a decorative screen so it’s not so obvious that the kitchen is there.

We Just Got Engaged and Everyone We Run Into Says, ‘They Can’t Wait for the Wedding,’ But We Don’t Know If They’re On the Guest List. What Should We Tell Them?

At this stage I would just thank them for the well wishes and don’t mention the wedding at all. Since you don’t know any of the details yourself you don’t want to blurt out, “Thanks, but you’re not invited.”

Once you have firmed up the guest list and know who made the final cut and who didn’t you can tell people who aren’t on the list that you’ve decided on a small wedding. But don’t send out an email, only say something if someone asks you directly if they’re invited or not.

People are excited to hear about your engagement and are only asking about the wedding details to show their interest. It’s most likely not a way to “score” an invite.

When someone asks you about the wedding details, and you’re still figuring them out, be honest and tell them you’re just enjoying being engaged and haven’t started planning yet.

What are Some Dessert Ideas We Can Have in Addition to a Wedding Cake?

Talk to your caterer about serving a medley of desserts, offering a different dessert to every other person at the table so couples can share. If you want to offer more than two options (plus wedding cake) you can server buffets in a variety of ways.

Does the space allow you to move back to the cocktail hour room where you can set up a dessert hour? Offer several sweet stations, passed mini-desserts and a selection of dessert wines, cocktails, coffees and teas -- you could even throw in a shake or malted station too!

Or create one dessert buffet with a variety of desserts and invite guests to help themselves. Are you pie-lovers or cookie-fanatics? Make the buffet all about your favorite treats -- a cookie bar, brownie bar, pie buffet, etc.

Some guests may want to take dessert home with them so set up bakery boxes and/or bags on the side so they can make their own goody bags or have a waiter nearby to help them.

We Have a Lot of Nieces & Nephews Coming to the Wedding, How Do We Ensure They're Entertained and Their Parents Have a Good Time Too?

Many couples will reserve a room at the reception venue for a babysitter to watch and entertain kids so their parents can enjoy the reception. Or you can also have the kids watched in a room at the hotel everyone is staying at.

I wouldn’t create a mini-reception for the kids with a DJ, but you can have a room with kid-friendly food, a TV with DVDs and video games. Make sure you have a babysitter to watch them. Having the kids close by means moms and dads can check in on them and if there’s an emergency the sitter can notify the parents quickly.

If you do decide to have the kids at the reception ask the parents before putting their kids at the kids’ table -- some may feel their three year old is better off with them then on his own. Tell the caterer how many children (under the age of 16) will be there so he can prepare enough kids’ meals and set-up the kids’ table with some activities. Coloring books or sketch pads with colored pencils will keep them busy, but don’t be surprised if they take over the dance floor.

My Friend Hated the Bouquet Her Florist Made for Her, How Can I Avoid a Similar Situation?

Don’t be afraid to dictate to your florist exactly what you want. You can show her photos of the flowers you definitely want and don’t want as well as photos of styles you like and don’t like.

When you meet with your florist to see centerpiece samples ask for them to provide bouquet and bout samples too. A floral sample is similar to a tasting with your caterer. You get to see exactly what you’ll get on your wedding day.

If you feel that the sample is good then make sure that you and the florist take a photo and write down the names of the flowers used. Remember that flowers are seasonal, so if your preview is months before your wedding the flowers may not be available on your wedding day or may cost money to fly them in from another region.

On your wedding day make sure you see the bouquet before the florist and her team leave your venue so if you aren’t happy they can fix whatever is bothering you.

Besides a Basket with Flowers What Other Floral Items Can Our Flower Girl Carry?

For really little girls I think you’re better off with having a small posy (very little bouquet) or a pomander (a small-ish sized ball of flowers) with a ribbon handle instead of a basket where she drops petals down the aisle. You can also choose one bloom for her to carry instead of several.

If you’re not insistent on her carrying something floral have her carry a “magic wand” -- a stick covered with ribbons that she waves down the aisle -- or you can have her blow bubbles.

Is she your only child attendant? Have her be your ring bearer and carry your “bands” on a ring pillow.

Think about your wedding’s location and theme and see if there’s something you or your florist can create that coordinates well.

Should the Groom’s Cake Be a Surprise for the Groom Or Should He Be Involved With the Design?

Some brides like to surprise their grooms with a themed cake, while others want to include the groom in every wedding detail.

If your groom has no idea what a groom’s cake is there’s a great opportunity to make it a complete surprise. The groom’s cake can be any design - tiers or a theme - and the groom’s favorite flavor. Traditionally it’s a chocolate cake.

Talk to your baker about your ideas and the budget for the groom’s cake. If the price of the cake is out of your budget you may want to bring the groom into the discussion, otherwise he may wonder what those additional funds were used for.

The groom’s cake can be on display throughout the reception or you can have the maitre d bring it out at a specific moment. You can also tell the band or DJ to play a certain song.

Should I Wear a Veil?

When trying on your wedding dress put on a few different veils to see what style looks best on you.

Veils come in a variety of lengths from caged covering just your face to floor-length with a train that is longer than the one on your wedding dress. You can also choose the type of edge treatment from none to ribbons of various widths and embellishments such as lace, flowers and crystals. You can also opt for a blusher -- the part of the veil that covers the face and stops at about your waist.

A veil is a very traditional bridal accessory and while you can wear, or not wear, whatever you want, I would suggest that you try on a few different styles to see if you can find the perfect veil for your wedding-day look.

And if you do choose to wear a veil you can remove it for the reception.

I Thought It’d Be Fun to Wear a Color Other Than Pink On My Nails But My Manicurist Is Advising Against It. What Do You Think?

I always say do what you want but I would definitely listen to advice from experts, such as your manicurist. A neutral color -- whether pale pink or an ivory -- may be best for a few reasons.

First, a dark color will look like black in black and white photographs and you don’t want to have black nails in your photographs. They’ll look weird next to your white or ivory dress. You can ask your photographer’s advice too.

Second, I wouldn’t suggest choosing a “wild” nail color as it would distract from your dress.

Painting your toenails a bright color may be a better idea because they won’t be seen as much, if at all, and then you have them for your honeymoon.

I Hired a DJ But Now I’m Having Second Thoughts and Think We Should Hire a Band. How Do We Decide What to Do?

First ask yourselves why you hired a DJ in the first place. Was it because it would save you money? Did you go to an event where he played and you liked the way he got the crowd on the floor? Was it because you thought a wedding band may not play the songs you want? Is it this particular DJ that you’re having second thought about or just the idea of a DJ in general.

Before you cancel the contract, lose your deposit and start the music search over again you need to figure out what your alternative options are -- is there a band you like that’s free on your wedding day? Will you have enough time to find someone new? And secondly, what entertainment do you really want for your wedding?

It’s fine to change your mind but just make sure you’re making the decision for the right reasons and before canceling the contract you need to know that the alternative you’re looking for is available.

If No One Will See My Shoes Does It Matter What They Look Like? I Want to Be Comfortable.

There’s a scene in Father of the Bride (the Steve Martin one) where the bride, Annie, is ready to go to the church and she shows her dad her shoes underneath her full skirt -- they’re white sneakers with ribbons and bows. Her father owns a sneaker factory and had them made special for her.

You can wear any comfortable shoes you want -- ballet flats, flip-flops, decorative sneakers or even Crocs -- but remember that you’ll be dancing at your reception so you want to choose a pair of shoes that will stay on your feet as you twirl around the dancefloor.

It’s up to you if you want to wear a pair of stylish pumps for the purpose of a few photos for the album or wear comfy shoes all day and night.

If your wedding shoes will show because of the hem of your dress I would recommend choosing a stylish pair of comfortable shoes and forgoing the flip-flops or Crocs, except maybe if you’re getting married on the beach.