The Father-Daughter BAT MITZVAH Dance

For the past few years we've been tracking videos of brides and grooms and even some brides and their dads surprising wedding guests with creative dance routines.  We haven't seen a lot of grooms and moms.  Something to search for. Well, the trend has finally hit the Bat Mitzvah circuit.

And while most of us are many years away from that milestone I thought this video of a 13-year-old girl with her dad was very sweet and glad to know that the wedding world inspired them.  Take a look:

My Fiance and I Have a Child, Can We Include Her Name on the Wedding Invitation?

Yes, and I’m sure she would love being included!

Assuming the two of you are hosting the wedding add her name under yours in the following manner:

John Jones and Jane Smith

together with their daughter Louise 

invite you to…

And since you are including her in the wedding invitation wording, you may also want to bring her with you to help pick out the wedding invitation.  I’m sure she’ll enjoy being part of the process.

You may want to take her to the cake tasting too.

We Got an Engagement from Someone We Didn’t Plan on Inviting to the Wedding. Now Do We Have to Send them an Invitation?

You don’t have to send a wedding invitation to someone just because they sent you an engagement gift. You do however have to send them a thank-you note.

If at some point the gift giver says something that gives you the impression that they’re expecting an invitation you can either ignore their comment or explain that you’ve decided to have a more intimate wedding with your closest family and friends and kept the list extremely short.

I Can’t Afford to Pay for All My Bridesmaids’ Hair & Makeup. How Do I Ensure They Look Their Best?

I would talk to each girl, individually may be best, and find out what she is planning to do regarding hair and makeup. Some of them may go to a salon for their hair but opt to do their own makeup, and some may assume a makeup artist is being hired for everyone to use.

Once you know everyone’s situation figure out how much hair and makeup will cost per person and if it’s too much for each bridesmaid, or maybe just for a few of them, see if you can subsidize some of the costs.  If you can’t, shop around for the best deal.  Maybe there’s a beauty school in the area with some talented students or an assistant to your salon can send you at a fraction of the stylist’s fee.  Or even a groupon deal you can take advantage of.

Another option that I did for a friend’s wedding was to go to the local department store with a few other bridesmaids the morning of the wedding.  We each had scheduled an 11am appointment at our favorite makeup counter and for the cost of one lipstick, which we bought to use for the wedding, got our makeup done for free.  I honestly don’t remember what we did for the hair. I think for my wedding we hired a makeup salesgirl from the local Macy’s to come to the ceremony location and do each girl’s makeup for about $65 each.  For hair, a friend found a local salon that gave the girls a break because there were 8 of them coming in for blowouts at 9am on a Sunday.

Keep your bridesmaids’ budgets in mind -- they’re spending a lot of money on your wedding -- so don’t force them to lay out hundreds more for hair and makeup.  It’s worth it to start researching budget-friendly options months, and not days, before the wedding.

How Do We Prevent Tip Jars on the Bar, at the Coat Check and by the Valet?

Gratuities for all three -- bar tenders, coat check and valet attendants -- should be listed in the venue and/or catering contracts and paid through those bills.  Make it clear to the catering/location manager that you do not want tip jars/bowls/plates displayed since you are covering gratuities.

If you do see them out while your wedding is happening ask, or have someone like a bridesmaid or groomsmen ask, the manager to have it removed immediately.

We’re Having a Destination Wedding in the Caribbean, Can I Still Have a Formal Wedding?

Of course you can but think about where the wedding is going to be and let that dictate the tone.  If your ceremony is being held on a beach and the reception at an outdoor restaurant you may not be comfortable in a heavy ball gown, nor will your guests in long gowns and tuxedos.

If however the ceremony and reception will be held in a grand hotel ballroom, where there is air conditioning, formal attire shouldn’t be an issue.

But if you want a formal wedding why are you choosing a location that lends itself to a more casual setting? Make sure that you and your fiance choose a geographic locale as well as a venue that will bring your vision to life.  You don’t want to fight with the venue look and feel, you want to work with it.

We Received a Wedding Gift in the Mail and It Was Broken? Do We Tell the Gift Giver?

You don’t have.  If you know where the gift was purchased I’d take it to the store with all the packaging and shipping materials and explain that this is how it arrived.

If you’re not sure where the gift came from then tell the gifter that it arrived broken and he or she should be able to help you get a new one.