I Can’t Afford to Pay for All My Bridesmaids’ Hair & Makeup. How Do I Ensure They Look Their Best?

I would talk to each girl, individually may be best, and find out what she is planning to do regarding hair and makeup. Some of them may go to a salon for their hair but opt to do their own makeup, and some may assume a makeup artist is being hired for everyone to use.

Once you know everyone’s situation figure out how much hair and makeup will cost per person and if it’s too much for each bridesmaid, or maybe just for a few of them, see if you can subsidize some of the costs.  If you can’t, shop around for the best deal.  Maybe there’s a beauty school in the area with some talented students or an assistant to your salon can send you at a fraction of the stylist’s fee.  Or even a groupon deal you can take advantage of.

Another option that I did for a friend’s wedding was to go to the local department store with a few other bridesmaids the morning of the wedding.  We each had scheduled an 11am appointment at our favorite makeup counter and for the cost of one lipstick, which we bought to use for the wedding, got our makeup done for free.  I honestly don’t remember what we did for the hair. I think for my wedding we hired a makeup salesgirl from the local Macy’s to come to the ceremony location and do each girl’s makeup for about $65 each.  For hair, a friend found a local salon that gave the girls a break because there were 8 of them coming in for blowouts at 9am on a Sunday.

Keep your bridesmaids’ budgets in mind -- they’re spending a lot of money on your wedding -- so don’t force them to lay out hundreds more for hair and makeup.  It’s worth it to start researching budget-friendly options months, and not days, before the wedding.

Do I Have to Choose a Bridesmaid Dress My Bridesmaids Approve Of Or Can I Just Pick What I Want Them to Wear?

Since they’re paying for them it would be nice of you to ask them to wear something they feel comfortable in. I know that it’s your big day but you don’t want to humiliate your closest friends and relatives, do you?  If this thought is based on the fact that you want to be the center of attention then don’t have any bridesmaids at all.

When shopping for dresses have a clear idea of what color and style you want and make sure as many of your bridesmaids are with you to try them on.  See what they look like and if they are comfortable in them -- can they easily walk, do they have the coverage they want or need, can they dance the night away with you and your new hubby?

Remember that the single gals could seek revenge on you when it’s your turn to be their ‘maid or they could all get back at you at the shower or bachelorette.

Does My Sister Have to Be My Maid of Honor?

It’s customary for the bride’s sister to be maid or matron of honor, and if she has more than one sister, for the role to be shared between them. Regardless of how close you are, it’s probably best to ask your sister to stand with you at the altar, especially if it will cause a family rift if you don’t.

I know several sisters who aren’t very close but they still stood as each other’s maid of honor at each other’s weddings. The bride’s best friend a/k/a the first choice for MOH can be a bridesmaid and still take part in helping the bride shop for her wedding dress, craft various wedding details and plan the shower and bachelorette parties.

A wedding is a family event and it’s important that you try to avoid any arguments or fights. Ask your sister to be your maid of honor and your BFF to be a bridesmaid. She’ll understand.

I Have Eight Bridesmaids, Should We All Go Shopping for a Bridesmaid Dress Together?

While you do need everyone to try on dresses to see the fit I would suggest taking your maid of honor and maybe one other available bridesmaid for the first round of shopping. This should give you a chance to see the styles and colors available, and night fight with seven people over what they each like best.

After your maid of honor and one additional bridesmaid try on a few styles you can get an idea of what style dress you want and maybe even the color and fabric too.

Once you’ve narrowed it down to three possibilities bring the rest of the group with you to the bridesmaid dress shop, or send them some options to see on WeddingtonWay.com -- an e-bridesmaid dress store.

Trust me, fewer people mean fewer opinion, and that equals less stress for you.

Is It Okay to Ask My Bridesmaids to Wear the Same Shoes?

You can ask them to do whatever you want but that doesn’t mean they’ll be able to do it. Not every shoe will fit each girl and the issue of the heel height is another variable that may not make your identical bridesmaids look possible.

If the dress you’ve chosen is long chances are the shoes they wear won’t be seen so does it really matter what they wear on their feet? (As long as the style coordinates with the formality of their dress, of course. ie; no sneakers)

For shorter dresses, where shoes will be seen, you can ask your bridesmaids to wear the same color but let them choose a style that’s comfortable for them, especially regarding heel height. Remember, they’ll be walking, standing and dancing for hours so they should be in comfortable (and complimentary) shoes.

This is why dyeable shoes were invented.

One of My Bridesmaids is Pregnant and Due the Week of My Wedding. Should She Step Down?

You should have a frank discussion with her and ask her what she wants to do.

There’s no reason she needs to resign from your bridal party. They make maternity style bridesmaid dresses and she can sit in the front row instead of stand at the altar if she wants to.

But if she’s due the week of your wedding she may not want to take the chance of spending hundreds on a dress and accessories if there’s a good chance she won’t be able to make it to the wedding.

And just because she decided not to be in your processional doesn’t mean she can’t be involved in the bridal shower and bachelorette party.

When you bring up the topic don’t make it about your wedding, but rather her comfort level. And if she wants to remain as a bridesmaid don’t discourage her. Make a backup plan for who the groomsman she is scheduled to walk with would walk with if she’s not there - remember, he can join another pair of bridesmaid and groomsman

I Want My Bridesmaids to Choose Their Own Dresses, What Guidelines Should I Give Them?

It’s important that your bridesmaids know what shade of color their dress should be and the formality of the wedding.

I write shade instead of color because each color comes in a range of shades. For example, blue can range from navy to royal to sky blue. Pink can be fuchsia, bubble or pale pink. You can give each ‘maid a swatch or paint chip or send them images of dresses in colors you approve of so they get the idea.

Formality is important because it will dictate the dress’ hemline. The more formal the wedding the longer the hemline. You also want consistency so giving them a guide as to what length is okay will ensure a more cohesive look in your photos.

Make sure each girl knows if her arms need to be covered or not for the ceremony. Some houses of worship may ask for arms to be covered, which means no strapless dresses.

If you’re still nervous, tell them that while they can choose their own dress you have the right to veto it. Plan some shopping dates or shop together online and you’re sure to find something that makes you and each of your bridesmaids happy.

Do I Have to Have My Future Sister-in-Laws in My Bridal Party?

While I always say that you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, it may be easier on you to ask your groom’s sisters and sister-in-laws to be your bridesmaids.

If they are assuming they’ll be in the bridal party and mention it, you may have a difficult time explaining -- without hurting their feelings -- that they’re not being asked. Especially if you’re planning on having a long list of ‘maids -- five or more.

For brides just asking one or two people to stand as their maid or matron of honor, you can explain to your future in-laws that you’re keeping it small and not having bridesmaids just your own sister(s), closest cousin and/or BFF.

In the case that his relatives are not officially bridesmaids you may still want to invite them to the bachelorette party. After all, they will be your family soon.

Do I Have to Pay for My Bridesmaids’ Hair & Makeup?

You don’t have to pay for their hair and makeup to be professionally done but you can’t demand that they pay for a stylist either. Remember that everyone’s financial situation is different and one or more of your bridesmaids may not be able to afford a stylist after co-hosting your bridal shower, bachelorette party, paying for a bridesmaid dress and matching shoes and gifts for you and your groom.

If one of your bridesmaids tells you she can’t afford to have her hair and makeup professionally done you can offer to gift it to her as her thank-you gift, or just as a friend, but don’t fire her or treat her badly.

Some brides want their bridesmaids to have a special hair or makeup look and if you feel this is very important than you may have to cover the expense of it.

If this is something that you’re thinking about start pricing salons and stylists in your area to ensure that you get a great deal whether you’re paying or your bridesmaids are.

Bridesmaids Blog Tour: What to Do With a Bridesmaid Dress After the Wedding

The new film Bridesmaids hits theatres today, May 13th, and if you’re looking for either a great date night with your fiance or a night out with the girls order tickets now. The film is set around a wedding and it’s the story of friendship.

When Annie (Kristen Wiig) is asked to be her best friend’s maid-of-honor she has to lead a group of bridesmaids as they search for the perfect bridesmaid dress, plan a bridal shower, bachelorette party and help with the wedding details. Annie’s lfe is a mess and she finds herself competing for the bride’s attention with another ‘maid.

As brides and bridesmaids we all know that weddings can bring out both the best and worst in people and in this story it also brings a lot of laughs (and a really cute cop with a Irish accent).

Take your fiance and make this film part of your next date night or grab your bridesmaids and plan a girl’s night out. You’re sure to have a great time either way.

I walked away with a number of great planning tips for this blog but as a bride you’re sure to find ideas for your own wedding and bridesmaids will get inspired by the bridal shower and bachelorette party ideas.

The photos below show a familiar scene: the hunt for the perfect bridesmaid dress that will both flatter every bridesmaids’ figure and not hurt their wallets. But what I think about when it comes to bridesmaid dresses is what to do with them after the wedding.

If you’ve been a bridesmaid you already know you probably won’t wear the bridesmaid dress you wore again. And as the bride your bridesmaids probably won’t wear the bridesmaid dress you’ve picked no matter how flattering you think it is.

But don’t let a bridesmaid dress or dresses take up space in your closet. There are a number of options you have to make the dress wearable for you or others. Here are some ideas:

Alter it. Take your bridesmaid dress to a local tailor and talk to a professional about redesigning it. Shorten a floor-length gown to a cocktail length. Cut it in two and create a top and bottom that you can pair with other clothes.

Donate it. A number of organizations will accept donations of gently used evening wear that low-income teens can use for prom dresses.  Visit DonateMyDress.org to find a list of charities from across the country you can donate your bridesmaid dress to.

Recycle it.  Newlymaid.com is a new service by The Dessy Group that will let you exchange a used bridesmaid or party dress by any designer for a new little black dress. The dress you send in will either be recycled or donated and you’ll receive a 30-50% discount on a new dress that you can wear again and again.






This is a sponsored post brought to you by Universal Pictures’ Bridesmaids. Photos courtesy of Universal Pictures

NEW: Bloomingdale's Wedding Shop

First it was J. Crew, then Ann Taylor, White House|Black Market and earlier this year Anthroplogie launched BHLDN, and today Blommingdale's launched The Wedding Shop, featuring fashions for everyone in the wedding, plus fashions for the bridal shower, bachelorette party and rehearsal dinner.

The great thing about off-the-rack wedding dresses is that if you get home or have it shipped and you change your mind you can return it.  Remember that you can't return a wedding dress that you buy at a bridal salon.

And for bridesmaids, while I firmly believe that there is no such thing as a bridesmaid dress you can wear again, these bridesmaid dresses are made as party dresses so there is a possibility they can wear them again.

If you do purchase a dress at Bloomingdale's check to see if they have any coupons that will give you a discount or ask if you open a Bloomingdale's credit card if you will you receive 10-20% off your purchase.

Picking a Bridal Shower Theme

I love planning bridal showers.  You can get really creative with the theme, more so than you can with the wedding.

When choosing a theme for a bridal shower think about two things:

1.  What interests the bride (and groom) have.  Are they book lovers, wine lovers, world travelers, chefs, etc...  Their interest can help you decide on the type of party to throw and the party details.

2.  What type of gifts the bride registered for as well as needs and wants.  Couples who need everything for their home may benefit from an "Around the House" or "Around the Clock" shower which tells guests to bring specific items for the home.  A couple who is doing a lot of home renovations may benefit from a "Home Improvement" theme where guests bring tools and other items to help their renovations along.

A shower's theme can be included on the invitation, decor, entertainment and favors.  It's okay to make it as cheesy or as refined as you want as long as you keep it in the span of what the bride would like and want at her shower.

Remember that you are planning her shower and therefore you should keep all the plans tailored to what you think/know she would like.  when it's your shower you can ask/tell your bridesmaids and mom what you would like.

Don't Be Afraid to Ask Friends and Family to Help You with Wedding Details

Do you have a very talented group of friends and relatives? Don't be afraid to ask them to get involved in your wedding plans. Some may volunteer and offer their services as a wedding gift.

If you like what's being offered, go ahead and accept, but make sure you know exactly what you're getting and they know exactly what they're doing.

While you may not want to write a formal contract between friends, you want to know that they won't cancel at the last minute for a paying job or a conflict, leaving you without a key wedding element. Just to be safe, check in with them every now and then to confirm that they are still prepared to deliver the goods or services on your wedding day. And if you get the feeling that something's wrong, don't be afraid to ask if there's a problem and if necessary cancel on them and hire a professional or buy the items yourself.

A Great Bridal Party Gift Idea

Okay, so not everyone is going to agree with me but even if you don't you'll have to admit that it is a useful gift and something that can be used again and again.

Getting stuck home today wasn't ideal but I had my work computer so I was able to get stuff done.  Unfortunately for some reason I couldn't get a wireless network and had to save files to a USB drive and transfer them to my home computer.

I remember when a USB drive cost a fortune but now they're inexpensive and I get one in the mail or at a press event every week.  Most of them are personalized with a company or product name/logo.

I don't know how expensive the personalization would be, but there are themed USB drives that you can get and give each member of the bridal party a character that they would like.  I've seen Star Wars characters, Hello Kitty, M&Ms, colors, patterns and even one that looks like dog tags.

So while this may not be the bridal party gift that you thought you'd give, it is a gift that your bridesmaids and groomsmen will be able to use again and again -- unlike a flask and jewelry that matches the bridesmaid dress.

Bridesmaid Gifts They Will Love

Have you ever been a bridesmaid?  Now honestly, how many times did you wear a bridesmaid dress again?

I have one bridesmaid dress that I never wore again and then as maid of honor at my sister's wedding I re-wore that skirt and top as a bridesmaid at a friend's wedding.  But actually I just wore it for the photos because we didn't walk down the aisle.  After formal portraits I changed into a different dress I had fallen in love with at a vintage store a week before the wedding -- with the bride's permission of course.

Anyway, the point is that I never wore these dresses again and you probably won't wear any of the bridesmaid dresses you've had to wear again either.

Did you get a gift that went with the dress like a necklace or earrings?  If you're never wearing the dress again when will you wear the accessories?

My point is that when shopping for bridesmaid gifts treat each of your bridesmaids to a meaningful and personal gift.  You don't have to get them all the same thing.  And like a wedding favor it's better to put your money into something that your friends will use and enjoy.

And as for how much to spend on bridesmaid gifts that's up to you.  If you're buying each girl something that she will truly enjoy I'm sure they won't compare notes behind your back and guess how much each item cost because they'll be so touched that you spent time thinking about getting them something special and not some token gift that either matches their never to be worn again bridesmaid dress or is some generic bridesmaid gift item they saw in the back of a bridal magazine.

A Bridesmaid Luncheon or Tea Party

You may have read about a bridesmaid luncheon or tea in a wedding planning book but I don't think I know anyone who planned or attended one.

A bridesmaid luncheon or tea is a party the bride hosts in honor of her bridesmaids as a thank you for being her support system while planning her wedding.  When I was planning my wedding I decided to host a tea party for my 'maids.  Unfortunately things got busy between planning my sister's shower and wedding and my wedding within a few months of each other - and my grandfather passing in between - that I decided to cancel the bridesmaid tea.

But if you can swing it it's a nice way to spend non-wedding planning time with your closest friends.  And if tea isn't your thing you can make it a day at the spa or another outing but make it something about your girls and not your wedding.

This party may also be a good time to hand out bridesmaid thank you gifts, especially if the gift is something they can wear or use at the wedding.

Shopping for Bridesmaids Dresses

Shopping for bridesmaids dresses is not easy.  You have to find a dress that will fit and flatter each girl and that's not even the headache of trying to schedule shopping appointments when everyone is available.

When you find a bridesmaid dress that you like schedule an appointment for as many of your bridesmaids to go with you to try it on.  For those who can't make it, see if it's available in their area and have them make an appointment and email you a photo of themselves in the dress so you can see what it looks like.

Once you've picked a dress make sure each bridesmaid gets her measurements done correctly, the sales consultant can give them directions, and confirm that everyone has ordered their dress in a timely manner.

You should always check the store's return policy but I'm gonna bet that once ordered you can't cancel the order for a full refund so only place the order, or have the bridesmaids place their orders, after they've all tried on the dress, you've decided that it's the right color and style for your wedding and you are satisfied that everyone looks great.

Don't worry too much about picking a bridesmaid dress they can wear again because no matter what you choose they probably won't wear it again.  Sorry, that's the truth.

A Wedding Night Surprise for the Bride and Groom

The bride and groom may decide to stay at a hotel or in their own home on their wedding night, either way as a member of the bridal party - or a thoughtful friend - you may want to have a special gift waiting for them when they arrive or delivered soon after.

If they are staying at a hotel you can talk to the concierge about having champagne, chocolates or strawberries delivered to their room after their arrival or waiting when they arrive.

For couples spending their wedding night at home try and get a key to their house or apartment and set up a romantic setting in their bedroom with food, drinks and maybe flower petals scattered around the room.  Stay away from candles since you don't want to light them in advance and unlit candles aren't as romantic.

You can also call the hotel the newlyweds are staying at on their honeymoon and surprise them with room service, dinner at the hotel, spa treatments or champagne.  I always find that when you tell a hotel that the couple is on their honeymoon they go above and beyond to make their stay memorable.

If You're Giving Out Shower Favors At Least Make It a Good One

While favors aren't mandatory at any wedding-related party, a lot of hostesses like to give them out because it's traditional.

Bridal shower favors can be cheesy but they don't have to be!  You can find something that goes with the shower's theme or something that the bride likes that you think the guests will enjoy too.  It's important not spend too much money on favors and don't buy anything that if you got at a bridal shower you would throw out as soon as you got home.

Here are some favor ideas you may want to consider:

• Edible favors such as chocolate, cookies, candy, tea.  Food is always a hit!
• Musical favors.  You can burn a CD of songs that you think guests will enjoy.  It can be a mix of the bride's favorites, somehow related to the party's theme or have a general theme like love songs or dance music.
• Lottery tickets are very cheap - $1-5 per scratch off - and everyone loves playing.
• Seeds or a small plant.  This is great for eco-fans but there's no guarantee that all of your guests have a green thumb.
• Monograms.  Items that can be monogrammed with the guest's initial not the bride's are a good idea but depending on what it is this can be pricey.  I've hosted showers where each guest was given a monogrammed handkerchief (less than $5 each) and I've been a shower guest where I received a mug with a large A on it.  It happens to be one of my most favorite favors ever.

As for pricing shower favors I would try and stick to $5 - $10 max per favor.  Remember that you are giving one favor to every person there, plus the other hostesses and the bride so let's say you spend $8 on each favor times 30 people, you're spending $240 on favors -- and this doesn't including shipping, tax and any special packaging like a cello bag, ribbon and favor tag.

The Groom and the Bridal Shower

If you're having an all girls shower than I suggest asking some men to show up at the end of the shower to help bring the gifts to the cars.

You should have the fathers of the bride and groom, any brothers and the groom arrive about 30-45 minutes toward the end of the party to say hello and load the car(s) with the bags and boxes of gifts you (and the groom) received.

Another idea is to get the groom to arrive earlier and take part in a game - like the newlywed game - during the shower.  I like this idea because it's more fun when you hear the groom's responses live and you can see the couple interact with each other.