In the past few weeks I’ve heard from several industry insiders that if you pay for your wedding you don’t have to listen to your parents or anyone else for that matter. And while I don’t disagree that when mom and dad are paying they have a stronger say in what your wedding looks and feels like that doesn’t mean that if you pay for the wedding on your own that you can disregard them completely.
You have to remember that your parents have been looking forward to your wedding day longer than you have and this celebration is just as much about/for them as it is about/for you and your groom.
If you're worried that if you take money from your parents they will be demanding regarding what they want or don’t want for your wedding you should have an open discussion with them before you take their check. Maybe you need to be very specific as to what their money is going toward and if you include them in choices they won't give you as hard a time than if you don't.
Here’s an idea that may work for you and your parents: You should do all the research on the vendors you want to meet with and possibly hire. Once you’ve narrowed down the vendors in a category to two or three bring your mom (and dad) with you to each vendor and have her help you and your groom make that final decision. You don’t have to do this for every vendor but by making your parents feel included in your wedding plans you may help your relationship during the entire process.
And you know what, maybe mom and dad will have some good ideas!