Wedding Gown Guidance from Mark Ingram

For the past ten years Mark Ingram has been dressing brides in fabulous gown at his Atelier on the East Side of Manhattan.  In honor of the Atelier's 10th anniversary I thought I'd recycle an old post from 2006 with his wedding gown shopping tips, because this advice never goes out of style:

1. It is important to have an actual wedding date and venue. Your sales consultant will help you select a gown that is perfect for your setting.

2. Bring tear sheets, photos and downloaded web images of styles of gowns you wish to try on. Our consultants will make additional style recommendations based on your initial conversation.

3. Before scheduling an appointment, make sure the salons you have selected feature gowns in your price range.

4. In general, limit your shopping companions to the one or two persons whose opinions mean the most.

The Mark Ingram Atelier is located at 110 East 55th Street, 8th Floor. They only work by appointment, so call them at 212-319-6778 to schedule one soon.

How Will I Know When I Find My Wedding Dress?

You know how you knew with the guy?  Well it kind of works the same way.  You’ll get this feeling that it’s “the one” but there are a few other signs you can look for:

1. You don’t want to take it off, ever.
2. After you leave the bridal salon you’re still thinking about it.
3. You try on other gowns but still want to put this one dress back on.
4. Your mom cried.
5. Your dad cried.
6. You cried.

It’s very important that you’re sure the dress you’re buying is the one you want because it's a very important purchase.  Wedding gowns can be expensive and there’s usually a "no returns" policy. 

If you still want to try on other wedding gowns even though you found one you like, I suggest you keep looking because once you found "the one" you’ll want to stop.

My Mother-in-Law Keeps Mentioning I Can’t Wear Strapless for the Ceremony, But the Church Hasn’t Said Anything. What Do I Wear?

I would check with both your officant and the wedding manager at the church (person you booked the wedding through) to find out what the policy is. Some houses of worship have strict policies on how much skin you can bare -- shoulders covered, capped sleeves, sleeves to the elbow, sleeves to the wrist. You don’t want to show up on your wedding day and be turned away...it could happen.

If you’d prefer to show more skin than the venue allows, talk to the bridal salon where you bought your dress about cover-up options for the ceremony -- options that can be easily removed for formal photos and the reception.

As for your mother-in-law: If it turns out the church doesn’t have as strict a policy as she does/wishes, it’s your wedding so wear what you want to wear and don't talk about your wedding dress in front of her. On the big day she'll be too busy greeting her guests that she probably won't notice or mention your neckline.

How to Avoid a Bra Blunder on Your Wedding Day

It’s very important you make sure your wedding dress’ undergarments give you both the support and coverage you need. A sexy dress should expose some skin but not bare all, especially in front of your future in-laws and grandma.

When trying on wedding dresses make sure you feel comfortable with a low V or other revealing neckline. Don’t be afraid to ask the salesperson and a seamstress from the store what they can do to make sure your girls stay hidden and you don’t have a J. Lo moment on your big day. (If you missed it, one of her nipples popped out on stage at the Oscars in her stunning, but quite revealing gown.)

The best person to help you find the right bra or bra alternate is the bridal salon seamstress, so don’t be shy about asking questions. There are a number of foundation options you may have -- sewing cups into the dress, strapless, convertible, stickers to keep fabric from moving. It’s important that you get the proper support you need so you’re not pulling the neckline of the gown on your wedding day.

Take the months before the first fitting appointment to visit several lingerie stores and try on, and purchase, multiple styles. Bring everything with you to the fitting -- and leave the tags on -- to try on what really will work best. After you have found the right bra you can return the other items.

I Think My Guests Will Say I Copied Kate Middleton’s Wedding Dress, But I Just Love the Style. Is There a Way to Make It More Me?

If your guests are so familiar with Kate’s wedding dress then they’ll know that her dress was inspired by Grace Kelly’s wedding dress. Bridal gown designers are inspired by a variety of things, including wedding dresses worn by celebrities. Many of the wedding gowns at the most recent bridal market mimicked Kate Middleton’s wedding dress, her sister Pippa’s bridesmaid dress and Reese Witherspoon’s pink wedding gown -- so you won’t be the only bride wearing sleeves or lace on her big day in 2012.

If you love the dress wear it and don’t worry about what others may say. Wedding guests will comment on a variety of your details but remember that the only opinion that matters is yours.

To make the dress more personal to your style shop for unique bridal accessories such as a fabulous headpiece or hair pins, a dramatic veil and fabulous jewelry.

I Read That Bridal Market Is Coming Up What Does That Mean to a Bride?

Bridal Market is like Fashion Week in that wedding dress designers present their latest collections to bridal salon buyers and members of the press.

These gowns, that you’ll be seeing on wedding websites and blogs over the next week or so, will not be available in your local bridal salon until January/February at the earliest.

Some designers may hold special trunk shows at select salons or their own salon a week to a month after market but that will be for a very limited time and there still may be a long wait for the dress to be delivered.

If there’s a dress that you see in bridal market coverage that you want to try, take the photo to your local salon and see when it will be in the store. If the dress’ delivery date is after your wedding date see if the salon carries a similar design in stock.

My Grandmother Said She’d Buy Me My Wedding Dress and Then Gave Me $200. Can I Tell Her the Dress I Want Costs More?

I think you have to base the answer to your question on what you know about your grandmother. Is she living solely on social security and $200 is a lot for her? Or do you think she’s just not aware that the wedding dress you want costs more?

Grandma was probably married 50+ years ago and may not have gone wedding dress shopping in a long time, and therefore not aware what prices are. Why don’t you invite grandma to go shopping with you and let her see the style of dress you want and the price tag that goes with it.

If she can afford it maybe she’ll give you more money towards the dress, but if she can’t, thank her graciously and pay the balance without telling her.

Above all, make sure grandma knows that you appreciate her gift.

I Saw a Wedding Dress Online But It’s Not Available at My Local Bridal Salon. How Can I See It and Try It On?

Bridal salons will generally buy select pieces of a collection, not the complete one. Find out if your local salon is having a trunk show for the designer of the dress you're interested in.

A trunk show is where the designer and/or a sales representative from the company brings the complete collection to a salon -- that’s every dress for the season and probably a few other best sellers.

Call your salon and ask when the trunk show for a particular designer will be held and make an appointment. Trunk shows book up fast so be sure to make an appointment as soon as you learn the dates.

If you missed the trunk show dates for the season visit the designer’s website and look for another trunk show near you and schedule an appointment for that one. You can either purchase the dress .at that salon or see if your local salon can order it for you and this way you won't have to travel far for alterations, which you may have two to four of.

And remember, a trunk show usually offers a discount on the purchase of a gown, it's usually 10% off.

Be Your Own Best Editor -- Vera Wang

Martha Stewart Weddings Fall issue just hit stands and the issue celebrates iconic wedding gown designers -- Reem Acra, Amsale, Oscar de la Renta, Carolina Herrera and Vera Wang among them.

During the photo shoot they filmed interviews with some of the designers who shared their advice for brides still shopping for their wedding dress.  Here's what they had to say:

My Mom Doesn’t Think I Should Wear a White Wedding Gown Since My Fiance and I Live Together. Is She Right?

Long gone are the days when a white wedding dress confirmed a bride’s virginity. It’s perfectly acceptable for a bride to wear white regardless of her virginity status -- I’ve seen second-time brides with children in white dresses.

You can explain to your mom that her way of thinking is an old-fashioned and out-dated policy, but I would explain it to her in a nice way so you don’t make her feel old fashioned and out dated.

And since we’re on the topic of wedding gown colors, today’s brides can wear any color dress -- white, ivory, pink, blue, red or black. You can also choose to add a splash of color to a white or ivory dress if an all-over colored dress is too much for you.

When Would I Change Into a Reception Dress?

Brides can change into a second dress right after their ceremony and before the reception begins or you can change during the reception. It’s entirely up to you.

A reception dress is usually a gown which is not as traditional and modest as the gown you wear for your ceremony. Bride who need more coverage for a religious ceremony may opt for a more modest design for the ceremony and a sexier gown for the party.

If your reception will begin with a meal and dancing to follow you may want to wear your first dress through the dinner and then change right after your first dance or before the party gets started. If your reception will have dinner and dancing alternating you may decide to change during the second course or right before your cake cutting.

For couples having an after party, since the night will last longer than four hours, you may opt to change for the cake cutting and continue the celebration in your second dress until the wee hours of the morning.

Whenever you decide to change make sure your photographer gets photos of you in both gowns with and without the groom.

My Wedding Dress is Very Difficult to Get In and Out of, What Do I Do If I Have to Go to the Bathroom?

At your final fitting you should bring a close friend or relative with you to learn how to get you in and out of your dress as well as how to bustle your train. This person should not be your mom. Have them practice several times to ensure that they know how to do it, especially if your dress has more than just a zipper.

As for the bathroom, I’ve scene this scenario several times. In the event that you can’t use the restroom on your own bring the person who knows your dress with you. Think of her as your bathroom buddy.

She will either get you out of the dress in time to use the loo or hold up your skirt if need be. Remember this is supposed to be one of your closest friends.

And the reason I don’t suggest your mom is she is probably in a very elegant dress and it is not wise for her to be getting on her hands and knees to bustle your train. Though if she’ll just have to hold your skirt I’m sure she’d be honored to be your bathroom buddy.

Do I Have to Wear a White Wedding Dress?

Whether this is your first marriage or fifth you can wear white to your wedding. First time brides will usually wear white or ivory because it's traditional, but they don’t have to. Bridal designers have created colored wedding dresses ranging from pale pink to celadon green to charcoal grey. Each bride has to decide for herself what she feels comfortable in.

If an all-over colored dress is too daring for you, choose a white or ivory dress with color adornments -- a sash, beading, embroidery, etc…

Or if you are planning on wearing two wedding dresses, choose a white or ivory dress for the ceremony and a colorful one for the reception.

Whatever style wedding dress you choose make sure that you feel beautiful in it.

An Easy Way to Save Money on Your Wedding Dress

Did you know that many bridesmaid dress designers offer their dresses in white or ivory? Ever since Pippa Middleton wore a stunning ivory dress to her sister Kate’s wedding (you remember, she married Prince William at Westminster Abbey in April) brides have been picking white or ivory for their bridesmaids’ dresses.

But why not choose one for yourself?

Bridesmaid dresses can be short or long, strapless, embellished and are available in a number of fabrics, including organza, taffeta, satin and jersey, and cost a few hundred dollars at most.

The ordering process will work the same as a wedding dress in most salons. You have to have your measurements taken and the dress will take 6 to 8 weeks to arrive. Once it does you’ll need to find a good tailor to ensure a perfect fit. Unlike bridal salons bridesmaid dress stores usually don’t offer alteration services but will be able to recommend one in the area.

As for some ideas for bridesmaid dresses in white for the bride I think it’ll make a great story and will try and pull one together this week!

How to See (and Try On) the Latest Vera Wang Gowns Before They Arrive in Salons

Vera Wang’s Madison Avenue salon hosted an event for bridal bloggers this evening to allow us to view the new collection, which won’t hit salons until the fall. The designs shown at April’s bridal market will be available in trunk show style at various salons around the country --- NYC this weekend, then Boston, DC, LA over Labor Day Weekend. Check with the local salon that carries Vera Wang to find out when the trunk show will be in your area.  There is also a listing on verawang.com.

Anyway, we got a tour of the salon, enjoyed some delicious red velvet cake by Ruth Drennan and saw the new line up close and personal. It’s stunning by the way.

Some of the designs are shown in colors -- gray, celadon green, blush or pink -- and it’s important to note that while the gowns are shown in colors they are all available in white or ivory too.

When you visit a salon make sure to ask the sales consultant what all your options are. The dress may be available in multiple colors, the sashes that adorn the dress may also come in a rainbow of colors. You may be able to build up the dress giving it a higher neckline or even sleeves if you need more coverage.

Sometimes these alterations will add to the price and sometimes they won’t. It’s important to find out what’s available so you purchase a dress you truly love.

PS - Here are some of my favorites from the new Vera Wang collection

Sample Sale and Trunk Show Season...What You'll Find at Both Types of Sales

The new wedding dress collections will be arriving in salons between now and Septembers so you'll start seeing ads for sample sales -- where salons sell old merchandise -- and trunk shows, featuring the new collections.

Here's the difference between the two events:

Sample Sale. A sample sale is where a designer or bridal salon sells their sample and overstock dresses at a discounted price. Sample dresses are the dresses that brides view and try on in salons. They are traditionally a sample size: 8 or 10. These dresses have not been worn by a bride at her wedding, but they have been tried on at the salon many times, so they will likely need a good dry-cleaning in addition to any alterations necessary. Cleaning and tailoring are not included in the price of the garment, so take that into consideration when you buy a dress at a sample sale. Alterations and cleaning can add a few hundred dollars to the price.

Trunk Show. A trunk show takes place at a bridal salon. A designer (or her representative) will bring her entire collection -- gowns carried at the store as well as gowns that are not -- and meet with brides one-on-one. By meeting with a designer, a bride can learn more about what options she has regarding altering the dress: making it strapless, changing the colored beading, etc. Most trunk shows will offer a 10 percent discount on the price of a gown if it is purchased during the show. Bridal salons will know trunk-show dates weeks, and sometimes months, in advance, so if there's a designer whose dresses you love, make an appointment as early as possible.

Wedding Dress Alterations: Something to Think About

A friend of mine found her wedding dress at a sample sale over the weekend.  She had to decide between two wedding dresses that she loved.  One dress was a little too big and had to be taken in.  The other was a little too small and had to be let out.

She went with the one that was a little too big, because it would be easier to take it in than to let the other one out.

When you're buying your wedding dress, whether at a sample sale or off the rack, it's important to think about not just the cost of alterations but the amount of work needed on the dress.  For a dress with a lot of beading the seamstress will have to take off the beads, take in or let out the dress and then re-sew all the beads, which will cost you a lot more than a simple hem.

Also, if a dress is so big or really too small the look of the dress may be completely different after it's altered.  My sample sale wedding dress was a size 10.  By the time the seamstress was done shortening it for my size 2 frame I lost so many inches off the dress that a lot of the detail I loved was cut off.

Think about the work the dress will need because it may add a significant amount to your dress budget.  And if you can, talk to a seamstress at the sale or store to see what work can be done to the dress to ensure that it will look the way you want it to on your wedding day.

Your Wedding Dress Days Before the Wedding

I’ve been covering the royal wedding since before Prince William and Kate Middleton announced their engagement, and while I’ve written and read stories on almost every detail, there was a story I saw today that I thought was interesting.

I forget the source but it basically said that the wedding dress was done and the next time the bride would put it on would be on her wedding day.

All I thought was, “I hope the dress was finished at this point, I mean g-d the wedding is only a few days away!”

Remember that when you order your wedding dress it should arrive about three months before your wedding date so you can have at least three fittings. I say at least because if you lost or gained some weight or if the wedding dress has a lot of detail that has to be worked around the seamstress may need weeks or months to ensure that the dress fits you like a glove.

After your final fitting, a week or two before the wedding, your dress will be stuffed with tissue to ensure the shape and a steamer will be used to remove any creases. You’ll probably pick it up a day or two before the big day. And make sure to ask for any instructions: Should you remove the plastic? Should you hang it or lay it on a flat surface?

I think the answers are: Hang it -- from a door so it doesn’t touch the floor and put a white sheet under it if it does. I want to say take it out of the plastic and put a white sheet over it, but for 24 to 48 hours I don’t think the plastic will make a difference.  Check with the salon.

The Fascinating Fascinator

Lots of fashion watchers have noticed that Kate Middleton loves to wear fascinators, the feathery, flowery rather large barrette placed on the side of the head, and at the first day of bridal market in New York we're starting to see various designs of fascinators for both brides and bridesmaids.  But a fascinator isn't for every wedding-day look.

The fascinator can be worn with an informal gown and probably won't look best with a ball gown.  Wear it with a tea-length, ballerina style skirt or have your bridesmaids accessorize their dress with a colorful one.  If you're changing into a reception dress after your wedding ceremony you can swap out your veil and headpiece for a fascinator.  But the general rule is that a fascinator is more fun than formal so use that as a guide when deciding if one will work with your wedding dress.

While we've seen the future Princess in them before, you probably won't at her wedding to Prince William.  For that it's rumored that she will borrow a tiara from the Queen.

Bridal Market Reminders

I can't believe bridal market is right around the corner.  Shows in Chicago I think are this coming week and then the New York shows start April 6th.  I just wanted to share a few bits of information to keep in mind as you read posts on the designer runway shows.

1.  The dresses shown at market will most likely not be available for brides until September at the earliest, so if you're getting married in the fall you shouldn't wait for the dress to arrive in stores.

2.  Not every dress shown will make it to salons and designers may have a few additional designs that they don't show on the runway but they do manufacture them, so don't assume the runway pictures are everything from that designer.

3.  The best way to see a complete collection is to schedule an appointment during a designer trunk show.  You can see designer trunk show schedules on designer web sites and bridal salon web sites.  Call and make an appointment when you learn of the dates so you guarantee yourself an appointment.

4.  Print out pictures from the April 2011 shows and bring them with you to bridal salon appointments.  Just because that dress won't be available doesn't mean you can't find something similar that is already in salons.

5.  Accessories may hit bridal salons earlier so if you're looking fora headpiece, dress embellishment, bag or other bridal accessory you may have more luck in finding it sooner.