We Mailed Our Save-the-Date Cards and a Few Guests Told Us They Wouldn’t Make the Wedding. Can We Save Some Money By Not Mailing Them an Invitation?

The general rule is if someone receives a save-the-date card a formal wedding invitation should follow. Regardless of what they told you you should still send them an invite. What if their reason for not attending changes?

Knowing they can’t make it can also allow you to move some B-list guests to your A-list. You can either send some B-list guests an invite when you mail your wedding invitations or just hold them until the no RSVPs arrive.

Rules Re: Sending a Save-the-Date Card

A few months back we received a save-the-date card for a destination wedding.  Unfortunately we won't be able to make it and over some social get together Dave told the groom that we probably weren't going to make the trip.  The wedding is scheduled for Memorial Day weekend.

Last night I mentioned to Dave that I don't recall getting their invite and he said we probably won't because we said we couldn't make it.  He added they may have thought they could save money by not sending us an invite.

So what's wrong with this:

1 - If someone received a save-the-date card you have to send them a wedding invitation.  Period.   If you're not sure who is on your guest list at the point you want to send out save-the-date cards then don't send them at all or only send them to your must-invite list: immediate family and closest friends.

2 - Unless you ordered engraved or hand-calligraphed invitations how much are you really saving by not sending an invitation to someone who you told to save the date?

3 - By not sending us the invitation we can't reply no thanks along with a check as a wedding gift.  It is quite common for people who reply no to still send a gift.

Also, save-the-date cards are not a mandatory wedding item so you don't have to send them at all, especially if you're not sure who will make the final wedding guest list.

Save-the-Date Card Basics

The idea of a theme and color palette is to help you tie all of the details of your wedding together, but you may not finalize your wedding's theme and palette until the final months before the wedding.

While your wedding invitation suite should reflect the theme, colors and style of your wedding, your save-the-date card doesn't have to. And if you don't know your wedding's theme, colors and style at the time you are selecting and mailing your save-the-date cards then don't stress about it.

Talk to your stationer or search stationery sites for a save-the-date card that reflects your personalities, and you can include some of the style you've already decided on for the wedding. For example, if you've booked a reception site by the beach you can have a beach feeling - icons, colors - or if you know that your wedding will have a modern or vintage feel, look for cards that reflect that in the font and design.

Save-the-date cards can be as creative and fun or as formal and to the point as you want them to be. So keep an open mind and go with something that you love because it feels like you and your groom.

The vinatege-inspired save-the-date card pictured above is from Minna Designs, a fabulous stationery company I recently learned about. You have to click through their portfolio. Their designs are quite unique and stunning. Here are some of my favorites:

Save the Date and Save Some Money

A friend of mine forwarded me a save-the-date card she just received, and the couple saved a lot of money by emailing an adorable card from iomoi. I know I’ve written about iomoi before but, I just love their designs and for brides and grooms looking to cut costs, their e-stationery program is really great!

For a one-time annual fee of $15 you can send e-stationery to an unlimited amount of recipients. There are dozens of stationery designs to choose from and you can select the “handwriting” as well as the ink color too.

While I don’t recommend e-viting your friends and family to your wedding, you can use iomoi’s e-stationery program for: your rehearsal dinner invites, bridesmaid luncheon invites, post-wedding brunch, bachelorette party invites, just to say hi, moving announcements, birthday greetings and any other reason you can think of. (You cannot send e-thank you notes. Those must be handwritten.)

Find out more about iomoi e-stationery here.

Spreading the News

After saying "I will" there are the usual phone calls telling mom, dad, siblings, and close friends the exciting news. But how do you spread the word to extended family and friends?

Sending a save-the-date card will let guests know that you're engaged AND where & when the wedding will be.

Traditionally, save-the-date cards were sent out when a couple was planning a destination wedding, or sent to guests who had to travel to the wedding location. Today, you can send a save-the-date card to anyone, as long as you're planning on inviting them to the wedding.

When selecting a save-the-date card remember that you can be as creative as you want to be. Your local stationery store will have custom cards you can order, as well as ones you can buy off the shelf.

The card pictured above was designed by Iomoi, an online stationery store with a variety of designs for you to choose from.