Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Rules Re: Sending a Save-the-Date Card

A few months back we received a save-the-date card for a destination wedding.  Unfortunately we won't be able to make it and over some social get together Dave told the groom that we probably weren't going to make the trip.  The wedding is scheduled for Memorial Day weekend.

Last night I mentioned to Dave that I don't recall getting their invite and he said we probably won't because we said we couldn't make it.  He added they may have thought they could save money by not sending us an invite.

So what's wrong with this:

1 - If someone received a save-the-date card you have to send them a wedding invitation.  Period.   If you're not sure who is on your guest list at the point you want to send out save-the-date cards then don't send them at all or only send them to your must-invite list: immediate family and closest friends.

2 - Unless you ordered engraved or hand-calligraphed invitations how much are you really saving by not sending an invitation to someone who you told to save the date?

3 - By not sending us the invitation we can't reply no thanks along with a check as a wedding gift.  It is quite common for people who reply no to still send a gift.

Also, save-the-date cards are not a mandatory wedding item so you don't have to send them at all, especially if you're not sure who will make the final wedding guest list.


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