Do I Really Need All the Things on the Emergency Kit Lists?

The emergency kit list you read in wedding books and on wedding sites covers ever possible scenario -- fashion repairs, stains and everything in between. The truth is you never know what can happen so it’s better to be safe than sorry.

A wedding planner friend once told me about the bride who caught on fire -- her train was ignited by candles close to the floor and they used the safety pins in the emergency kit to conceal the scorch marks on the dress, so you see...you never know.

Before you run to the drugstore to stock your kit ask the location manager if the venue has some of these items on site. If you’re hiring a wedding planner he or she will have everything so you don’t need to think about it.

If you have to buy everything you can either buy one of those all-in-one kits that are sold specifically for brides or buy each item you think you need.

First, look through your medicine cabinet and grab what you already have -- pain relievers, antacid, nail file, hairspray, etc… Then ask mom if she has any of the other remaining items.

Whatever you purchase keep it in its packaging and hold onto your receipt. Don’t open anything unless you need it on your wedding day and then return what was unopened when you get back from your honeymoon.

And remember that some items can actually be used on your honeymoon such as travel-size toothpaste and floss, so you may want to make a list of what is good for both and shop once instead of making two sets of purchases.

Do I Have to Wear a Veil?

A veil is a wedding tradition but it’s up to you if you want to wear one. Some religious services may require one so ask your officiant.

I personally love veils. It’s so bridal and when in your life will you ever wear one again.

There are a variety of veil styles and lengths so if a long chapel or cathedral-length veil is too long for you, opt for a shorter one that is fingertip, elbow-length or even a birdcage that just covers your eyes. A veil has two parts: there’s the longer tulle that covers the back of your dress and the blusher which covers your face.

As for styles, veils are made from tulle but can be trimmed with ribbon or adorned with crystals. Your bridal salon will probably sell a number of options for you to try on with your wedding dress.

You can remove your veil right after your ceremony but practice doing so before your wedding day so you don’t create a hair emergency.

But as I always say, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. It's your day.

How Do I Judge How Big My Bridal Bouquet Should Be?

Trust your florist, but your bouquet should complement your wedding dress and formality of your wedding.

If you’re wearing a ball gown with a full skirt your bouquet should be bigger in size than if you are getting married in a sheath on the beach.

To get a fuller bouquet, and save some money, opt for bigger blooms such as peonies and opened roses. Smaller flowers that are considered “bridal blooms” -- stephanotis, lily of the valley -- are lovely but you need a lot of them make a substantial bouquet.

Instead of Getting Stuff We Don’t Need We’d Prefer Cash Gifts So We Can Buy What We Want. Can You Recommend a Cash Registry?

No, I cannot.

In order to get stuff you want instead of “stuff you don’t need” register for items you want, whether they be for your home or for a hobby.

Since most couples will have acquired many home items before tying the knot it is perfectly acceptable to set up a registry at a wine store, sporting goods store or use Newlywish or Registry360 to create a unique registry of items from various retailers.

When you don’t set up a registry, that’s when you risk getting stuff you don’t need and may not be able to return or exchange.

You can always spread word through your parents and bridal party that you’re hoping to buy a home soon and that may encourage cash gifts, but under no circumstances is it appropriate to register for cash.

My Mom Doesn’t Think I Should Wear a White Wedding Gown Since My Fiance and I Live Together. Is She Right?

Long gone are the days when a white wedding dress confirmed a bride’s virginity. It’s perfectly acceptable for a bride to wear white regardless of her virginity status -- I’ve seen second-time brides with children in white dresses.

You can explain to your mom that her way of thinking is an old-fashioned and out-dated policy, but I would explain it to her in a nice way so you don’t make her feel old fashioned and out dated.

And since we’re on the topic of wedding gown colors, today’s brides can wear any color dress -- white, ivory, pink, blue, red or black. You can also choose to add a splash of color to a white or ivory dress if an all-over colored dress is too much for you.

We Want Live Music at Our Wedding But Can’t Afford a Full Band. What are Our Options?

Contact an entertainment company that represents both bands and DJs and discuss the option of hiring a DJ and a singer plus an instrument or two to play for part of the reception.

You can have a singer, accompanied by a keyboard and/or guitar and/or horn instrument, to sing and play the music for special dances. Another option is to have live music, such as standards, being sung during dinner instead of canned music and have the DJ play music that gets the crowd on the dance floor.

Be honest about your budget and what you want for your wedding and the vendors you’re meeting with will better be able to help find the right solution for you.

Do We Have to Have Assigned Tables at Our Reception?

If you are having a small guest list, less than 75 people, you can probably get away with people sitting wherever they want. Also, if you are not having a formal meal but a more casual cocktail style party you don’t need assigned seats.

When your guest list is rather long (75+) it can get awkward for guests to have to find their own seats. Some may find it hard to find enough seats for their “group” at one table. And when I write “group” I don’t just mean a party of 2 or family, but rather the group of guests who would like to sit together -- your college friends, your mom’s siblings and their spouses, the groom’s colleagues, etc…

While creating your seating chart can get tricky, and stressful, it’s a courtesy to your guests to create one, even if you know that one or two people may not like their seat. Just try your best to make it work for as many people as possible.

Someone RSVP’d That They’re Bringing a Date, But We Didn’t Invite Them With a +1. How Do We Uninvite the Date?

It’s important to be direct. Remember, you didn’t do anything wrong. Your guest did.

Since email tone can be misinterpreted I suggest calling and explaining that you’re sorry for the confusion - again this is not your fault - but due to spacing and budget issues you didn’t invite him with a guest and can’t have his date at the wedding.

You have two choices at this point. Either stand firm and don’t allow the date to come or you can offer that if enough people reply they won’t be able to make it you’ll make room for his date.

If this guest is from the groom’s part of the guest list you can have your groom make the call, but if your groom feels uncomfortable about it you can make it.

How Can I Avoid Offending a Guest by Seating Them at a “Bad” Table?

I always think of the needs of a guest when seating them at a table. You can safely assume that your grandparents and guests of their generation will not want to sit next to the band or DJ speakers, so you can seat them towards the back.

Ask your parents and the groom’s if they have a preference. They may want to sit together at a “family table” or they may wish to sit with close relatives and friends. I would sit your parents’ tables close to the dance floor. If you’re dividing the room between bride’s guests and groom’s guests, the parents’ tables can be at the center of each side of the dance floor so they have a good view of your first dance, toastmakers and other special moments.

The bride and groom, whether they sit by themselves or with others, should be at the center of the room - across from the band/DJ - and clear for all to see. You can sit your bridal party and friends on either side of you.

Flank your parents’ tables with tables made up of their family and their friends -- you and your parents will know the “importance” of which guests should be nearer to your mom and dad and who can be a little further away.

As for a bad seat, near the band or speakers may not be a desired spot but your friends (and their ears) can handle it. Another spot is near the kitchen, so try and get as much space as possible between the table nearest to it and the kitchen door. Or see if your caterer/location can throw up a standing divider, an attractive one, so your guests don’t feel like they’re in the kitchen.

And always remember that you can’t please everyone so just do your best and don’t worry so much.

We’re Having a Few Kids at the Wedding, What Should We Serve Them?

If the kids are under 13 you should talk to your caterer about having kids’ meals made. Young children will probably not enjoy what the adults are eating and why should you pay $100+ for each child to not eat their food.

Many caterers offer chicken fingers and fries, pasta with butter or marinara, mac n cheese and other kid-friendly dishes at a fraction of the cost of an adult meal.

Give your caterer a head count of how many kids are coming and decide with him if you should offer more than one option. It may or may not effect the price.

Cocktail hours usually offer enough of a variety so you don’t have to plan a special kids’ menu for it.