Our RSVP By Date is a Few Days a Way and We’re Still Missing Responses. How and When Can We Find Out Who’s Coming?

I would wait a few days past the RSVP date listed on the reply card before you call or email guests who you haven’t heard from yet.  It’s okay to divide the list: Ask your mom and his to reach out to relatives and their friends and you and the groom contact your friends.

When you’re asking don’t be accusatory, be casual about it and say that you didn’t hear back from them and you’re hoping they can make it.

I Love Vintage Stamps, Does It Make Sense to Use Them On Our Wedding Invitation Envelopes?

The cost of one stamps is 45 cents and your wedding invitation will probably cost at least 60 cents with so many inserts adding to the weight. To place vintage stamps -- assuming their denominations are all between 1-30 cents -- you will need a huge envelope to get to the total you need to mail one invite. And remember that an oversized envelope will also add to the price of mailing.

I think a better option would be to design a vintage-looking stamp at zazzle.com. This way you get the vintage look but don’t have to worry about buying dozens more stamps to meet the rate you need or getting an extra large envelope.

Another option is to use vintage stamps on invitations for events with a limited number of guests -- bridal shower, bachelorette party, rehearsal dinner. This way the rate to mail is lower and you won’t have the extra cost of 100+ envelopes to find stamps for.

If you're looking for vintage stamps, Champion Stamps is a great resource.

Can We Email Our Wedding Invitations and Supply an Email for RSVPs?

I would say no, though my usually answer of you can do whatever you like also applies. But I really do think a wedding invite should arrive in someone’s mailbox, and not in their inbox.

Save-the-date cards, in my opinion, are fine for email, but make sure granny and her generation get a hard copy, or at least a phone call, if they don’t have an email account.

If you’re making a green statement by emailing your invitations you can also make it with a wedding invitation that is made from recycled paper or cotton and uses eco-friendly inks.  A number of wedding invitation companies are eco-friendly including Oblation Papers & Press and Crane & Co.

Another e-invite don’t is the emailed RSVP. Maybe I’m old fashioned but it’s appropriate to include an RSVP card and envelope set for guests to send their replies or you can send an RSVP postcard and save on the extra printing and a few cents on the stamp.

My Parents are Paying for the Wedding and My Fiance’s Parents Want Their Names on the Wedding Invitation Too, What are Our Options?

The wording of a wedding invitation is broken into several parts:

Host Line (who is hosting a/k/a paying)
Request Line (the invitation to come to the wedding)
Bride and Groom Line (the name of the couple)
Date and Time Line
Location Line (where the ceremony will be held)
Reception Line (where and when the reception will be held or a separate card)
R.S.V.P Line (on the lower left corner or a separate card/envelope)
Attire Line (lower right corner, optional)

Since the groom’s parents are not hosting or co-hosting the wedding you can put their names under the groom’s. Example:

Mr. and Mrs. Andrew Jones

invite you to the wedding of their daughter

Samantha Louise

to

John Smith

son of

Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Smith

Saturday, June 18, 2011

at six o’clock in the evening

Tribeca Rooftop

reception immediately following

If your parents don’t really care you can add the groom’s parents names to the host line if it’s a bigger deal to them. Remember, it’s important to not have World War III break out as it gets closer to your wedding day so try and accommodate your future in-laws if you can.

The invite with the co-host line would read something like:

Mr. and Mrs. Andrew Jones

and

Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Smith

invite you to the marriage of their children

Samantha Louise

and

John Smith

Saturday, June 18, 2011

at six o’clock in the evening

Tribeca Rooftop

reception immediately following

Have You Seen The Lettered Olive Stationery Line?

You really should check it out.  It's one of my favorite paper lines and created by one of my favorite (and most talented) wedding event designers, Tara Guerard of Soiree.

Tara is going to be at Judy Paulen Designs' stationery boutique at Bloomingdale's -- yes, Bloomie's has a stationery department on the 6th floor -- featuring The Lettered Olive invitation line.

At the event you'll get a sneak peek at the new collection as well as meet and talk to Tara about your wedding. The first 25 attendees will receive gift bags, and anyone who places an order of The Lettered Olive invitations will receive a second ink color for free!

Trust me when I tell you The Lettered Olive is a beautiful collection -- you (and mom) are sure to love it!

Rules Re: Sending a Save-the-Date Card

A few months back we received a save-the-date card for a destination wedding.  Unfortunately we won't be able to make it and over some social get together Dave told the groom that we probably weren't going to make the trip.  The wedding is scheduled for Memorial Day weekend.

Last night I mentioned to Dave that I don't recall getting their invite and he said we probably won't because we said we couldn't make it.  He added they may have thought they could save money by not sending us an invite.

So what's wrong with this:

1 - If someone received a save-the-date card you have to send them a wedding invitation.  Period.   If you're not sure who is on your guest list at the point you want to send out save-the-date cards then don't send them at all or only send them to your must-invite list: immediate family and closest friends.

2 - Unless you ordered engraved or hand-calligraphed invitations how much are you really saving by not sending an invitation to someone who you told to save the date?

3 - By not sending us the invitation we can't reply no thanks along with a check as a wedding gift.  It is quite common for people who reply no to still send a gift.

Also, save-the-date cards are not a mandatory wedding item so you don't have to send them at all, especially if you're not sure who will make the final wedding guest list.

Organizing Your Wedding Address Book

I have my baby announcements but I don’t have all the addresses of family and friends to send them to. I should because it’s been less than two years since the last time I need everyone’s addresses to mail my daughter’s baby announcements.

This time I’ve decided to make a file of all the addresses -- my family, Dave’s family and friends -- so the next time I need to mail a bunch of invitations or announcements I won’t have to bother friends and relatives for them.

As you plan your wedding and mail out save-the-date cards keep a file of the addresses of your guests so when you are putting together the address list for your wedding invitations you already have a preliminary list. You can even start getting addresses together months before your wedding, but I wouldn’t ask anyone you’re not absolutely sure will be receiving a wedding invitation. How would you feel if someone asked for your address and then nothing ever came in the mail?

Being organized is one of the best ways to keep wedding-planning stress at bay, so start organizing your wedding mailing list early in the process to avoid a wedding-related meltdown.

Always Order Extra Envelopes

I'm in the middle of addressing baby announcements and I'm a little anal about not making mistakes because I ordered the same number of envelopes as I did announcements.  The stamps I purchased, a comic book theme, is a little big for the envelopes and because I don't want to write the address and then find that the stamp covers it, I'm placing the stamp first and then writing the address.

So when I realized that I made a mistake by addressing a card to the wrong address I was pretty pissed at myself because not only did I lose an envelope, but I lost a stamp too!  You know they're 44 cents!

Luckily the sticker adhesive didn't stick too well and I was able to remove the stamp and place it on another envelope but I had to discard the envelope and get a new one.

Is it the end of the world?  No.  But now I have to hope that I don't run out of envelopes.

When you're ordering envelopes for your wedding invitation it is very important that you order extra envelopes -- 15 to 25 should be enough.  This way you won't have to worry if you make a mistake that you'll come up one envelope short.

And you may want to order a few extra sets of your wedding invitation in case one or two get lost in the mail and to save one as a keepsake.

Proofs are Important

I got the proof for the baby announcement today with an email that any changes and additional proofs made may cost me money.  There are a few changes I want to make and I was on the fence if I should order a proof or just send in the changes and send them to the printer.  And then I thought about it.

What if there's another error in the second draft that they don't see and the 200 cards are printed with an error?  I'd pay another few hundred dollars for the new print run, when a second proof may cost me at the most $100.  So I'm going to pay for the new proof to be safe.

When it comes to your wedding save-the-date cards, invitations, programs and other printed items I highly recommend getting a proof and checking it twice.  You may also want to have a parent, sibling and/or friend review copy before you even send it in for a proof to make sure that all spelling and grammatical errors are caught.

Wedding Invitation & Stationery Trunk Shows

You often hear of wedding dress trunk shows, but there are also trunk shows for wedding invitations and stationery.

Similar to a wedding dress trunk show, at a stationery store you can expect to find a stationery designer  or representative from the company.

He or she will have the entire line available to look through and talk to you about all your options - especially customization options.

And similar to a wedding dress trunk show the stationery company/store will also offer you discounts and/or promotions.

Some stationery stores may require an appointment so you may want to call the store ahead of time to see if scheduling an appointment is necessary.

Next week Spark Letterpress Love will be having a trunk show at Kate's Paperie in New York City. There are three promotions being offered when you purchase a Spark Letterpress Love wedding invitations, thank you notes and social stationery.

Setting the Ceremony Time

I went to a wedding a few weeks ago and the invite read 5pm so we got there at 5:20.  We missed half the ceremony!  Of course we felt bad and the truth is the couple didn't notice, but we were surprised that the wedding actually started at 5pm on the dot.  All of the weddings we've ever been to started about 30 minutes after the invitation time.  During that half hour guests will mingle, have some water or champagne and find a seat for the ceremony.

Talk to your ceremony location regarding exactly when the ceremony will begin.  Does it have to start on the dot because there's another wedding behind yours or is there some wiggle room?  And then talk to your parents and his -- they'll know if their relatives and friends are used to a window of time before the ceremony or if they're used to a wedding starting exactly at the time listed on the invitation.

I remember a wedding in college that started over an hour late because most of the guests didn't arrive until an hour after the invite time.  And then there was another wedding where the bride knew her guests had a tendency to arrive late by an hour or more so she added the word "promptly" to the invitation time so those guests would arrive on time.  It worked.

Proofreading All Printed Materials

Before you finalize the printing of your save-the-date cards, wedding invitations, wedding programs, menu cards or any other items that will cost a lot of money to print make sure you have someone proofread it.

While you and your fiance and even your printer may have looked over the copy a dozen times, sometimes you may not see something because your mind knows what you mean/want it to read.

Ask a parent, sibling or friend to read the final draft just to be safe.  Remember that spell check won't catch everything - especially correctly spelled words that are misplaced like your and you're and there, their and they're.

If you sign off on the final draft/proof and you notice a typo on the printed item because it was something you missed on the proof you'll be financially responsible for the re-print, if there's time for one.  You may incur a rush charge if the wedding is only a short time away.

Ms. or Miss

I received an email from a bride about to address her wedding invitation envelopes and she wanted to know when to use Miss vs. Ms. for single female guests.

I told her that she should use Miss for anyone under 18 or 21 and Ms. for anyone older. If the single female guest is a widow you should use Mrs.  as in Mrs. John Smith.

Since I'm sure she's not the only bride with this question I thought I'd share it with all of you.

Wedding Guests: Don't Lose the Wedding Invitation

Since our fridge isn't magnetic I usually leave important items to remember, like wedding and shower invitations, on our kitchen island.  But unfortunately we leave everything else on the island and before I know it the important stuff is under a pile of magazines, newspapers, press releases, books, baby items and coupons, knick-knacks and g-d only knows what else.  I just hope there isn't any food under the pile.

Because I often misplace wedding invitations I only know when a wedding is but can't always remember where or the time.

We have a wedding in August and I know it's the first weekend - on the 7th - but for the life of me all I can remember is that it's at a hotel in Manhattan.

Now I'm not going to call every hotel to find out where it is and I don't want to call the bride or groom because they'll think I don't care enough about their wedding to know where and when it is, which isn't true - I'm just not organized and juggling too many things at once.

So what will we do?  If they have a wedding website I can google it or ask her for the site and maybe it'll be posted there or I'll call a friend who is going and ask her for the information.

The point of this post is:  Put wedding and shower invitations in a safe and easy to remember/locate place so you don't have to go through the stress of figuring out where and when the wedding or shower is and it's better not to upset or piss off the bride too.

How to Know If You're Invited to a Wedding With a Guest

A woman at the office stopped by my desk today to ask me a wedding question. She had received a wedding invitation in the mail and the RSVP card had a ____ next to "will be attending" so she wanted to know if that meant she could fill in the number 2 and bring a date.

I asked her what the outer envelope - the envelope the invitation was mailed in - read. As in who was the invitation addressed to. She replied that it was addressed to her. I confirmed that it didn’t read “and Guest” so I told her that she was not invited with a date and couldn’t reply on the RSVP card that she would be bringing one.

The wedding is out of town and she would have to rent a car to drive there and possibly stay overnight and wanted to know if there was any way she could bring a date since besides the bride she wouldn’t know anyone else.

I explained to her that she could always call and ask the bride if she can bring a date but that the bride will probably say no unless a number of people have replied that they won’t be attending.

It turned out that a few weeks ago the bride and the woman spoke and the bride asked her how her boyfriend was, to which the woman replied that they had broken up a few months back, and what her mailing address was. The question about the boyfriend was the bride determining whether or not to invite her with or without a date.

So if you are not sure if you are invited with a guest to a wedding check the outer envelope to see who the invitation is addressed to. Most couples will add “and Guest” if they are inviting you with a guest.

Direction Cards: A Few Do's

Since the Stationery Show is in town I thought I'd write some posts on wedding stationery.

If you are including a set of directions to your ceremony and reception sites in your wedding invitation it's always a good idea to test drive them.  Your venues will probably have pre-made cards that you can use and it's a safe bet that the direction on them are correct.  But give them a once over just to check they didn't miss a typo.

You can also ask your stationer to create a direction card that matches your wedding invitation's design --for us, for lack of a better word, anal brides.  Me including.

If you are having the cards printed, I suggest double and triple checking the directions you are giving because once you sign off on the proof you are responsible for them.  If after they are printed you realize you wrote left and you meant right it's on you to re-print them and pay for them, as well as any rush fees that may apply.

In addition to you and your fiance proofing the directions, don't be afraid to ask the venue's location manager, a friend, member of the bridal party or a parent to proof them to.  And you may even want to get in the car any actually try them out to confirm that they are correct.

As for where to get the directions, your venue may have them listed on their website or in a brochure or you can use MapQuest.  Make sure to get the directions from multiple directions - north, east, south and west.  And if you are getting married in an area with mass transit you can also add those directions too.  HopStop has train, subway and bus directions for many metro areas.

Don't Forget to Number Your RSVP Cards

My aunt is getting married in a few weeks and told me that she got an RSVP card back with no name and no return address.  I immediately asked if she had numbered her RSVP cards and she answered, "obviously not."

When you are putting your wedding invitations together number the lower corner of the back of the RSVP cards and make a list - on paper or on your computer (maybe on an excel sheet that also tracks your will/will not attend) - where a guest name or couple corresponds to each number.  This way when you get an RSVP card back in the mail with no name or return address you can easily figure out who sent it back and you won't have to worry about calling everyone you are waiting to hear back from to see if they were the nameless guest.

Laser-Cut Wedding Invitations and Stationery is the Next Big Thing

At the New York Weddings magazine event tonight I saw half a dozen amazing invitation and stationery designers and all of them featured something with laser-cut details.  Sorry I don't have pics to share but I'm telling you it's everywhere and it looks fabulous!

No real tip here.  Just wanted to share my observation.  I'll try to get some pics to share and add to the post.

Night!

5 Must-Read Stationery Tips from Mackenzie Sala of Kenzie Kate Invitations

Your wedding invitation is the first detail of your wedding that your guests will see. It will also set the tone for your wedding so it’s important to select an invitation that conveys the look and feel of your big day, including the formality. I asked Mackenzie Sala, owner of Kenzie Kate Invitations and author of the blog Something Old Something New to share her top five stationery tips. Here’s what she had to say:

1. Leave time for yourself or your calligrapher to address the envelopes. Calligraphers will need at least a week or more during the busy season. Book your calligrapher around the same time you find your stationer and ask them how long they will need so that you can plan your schedule accordingly.



2. Keep it simple. If Uncle Bob doesn't have down to the mile-marker directions from his hotel to your ceremony site, then to the reception site and back, it's ok. He can figure it out! You can trust that your guests can, and for the most part, will take care of themselves. By all means, give suggestions if you have them, but there's really no need to clutter your invitations with information that can easily be had with a quick internet search.


3. The right wording depends on you. If you are having a very laid back, outdoor wedding, don't feel obligated to use traditional, conservative wording. If your family is big on tradition, ask your stationer to help you make sure it's by the book. Let your personality and the feel of your event guide you.


4. Calculate correctly. If you are having a 150 person wedding, you probably don't need 150 invitations. You will need more like 75-100. Each couple gets one.


5. Get samples. Lots of people are ordering their wedding invitations online. The selection is unbeatable, the convenience is fantastic, and you can spend as much or as little as you like. That being said, KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GETTING. Order samples before you place your order. It takes a little extra time, but you won't be sorry you did. Knowing what you're getting for your money is totally worth it!

The above inviation suites are all samples from Kenzie Kate Inviations. To view more of Mackenzie's designs and to order your invitations visit her Web site, kenziekate.com.

I Love Stamps

My family thinks I'm crazy because I announced that I wanted to host Thanksgiving this year and I need everyone's address so I can send them a formal invitation.  I wanted to send an invite because I need an excuse to use these fabulous Thanksgiving Day Parade stamps just release from the US Postal Service.  Aren't they cool!

I love stamps.  I don't collect them but I think they add a touch of thoughtfulness to an invite.  It's like you really took the time to think of every detail.  I'm sure I told you how I actually called the main office of the postal service in Washington, DC two months before my wedding because they pushed the release date of the lavender-hued Audrey Hepburn stamp that I wanted to use for our wedding.  I asked them to connect me to the Hepburn estate so I could get their permission to have the stamps released in time for me to use them for our wedding.  They didn't and we used Cary Grant in a tux.  My dad's high school friend actually called me to tell me how much he liked the stamp - true story.  We used Audrey on our thank you notes.

Anyway, while most of your guests won't give the stamp a second glance, you may want to consider selecting a stamp that matches your wedding theme, colors or something wedding-y without being the typical wedding-themed stamp.  Right now I'm loving the King and Queen of Hearts as a wedding stamp.

Because of the recent stamp fare hike the USPS has recently issued new stamps at the new rate:  44 cents.  I thought these stamps might work for a wedding.  You can also go to stamps.com and zazzle.com to customize a stamp with a photograph, monogram or other imagery.