Monday, October 13, 2008

No Show Policy

I received an email today from a groom asking me what he should do – really say – to the few guests who RSVP’d yes to his wedding and then didn’t show up. They didn’t email or call and let the bride and groom know they weren’t coming – they just didn’t show. He wanted to know what he should say to them – or if he should just ignore the situation.

Since Dave and I had the same thing happen to us – and I’m sure most couples will have at least one no show – this is probably a common situation that I’m surprised hasn’t come up more often so I thought I’d address it.

Your first reaction might be anger – after all you probably spent well over $100 on food and favors and stationery items for each guest – but I don’t recommend yelling at anyone. If the person in question is someone you consider a good friend then you can confront them, but I would ask them if everything’s okay? And stress that you were worried/concerned when they didn’t show up. Don’t come right out and ask them why they didn’t come to your wedding. Take the high road.

I’m sure he or she feels guilty about not going to your wedding and there’s no real plus in yelling at him or her or making him feel bad or worse. Just know that you’re not alone in this situation and that these things happen – and they happen to almost everyone.

Think of it this way, of all the things that could possibly go wrong on your wedding day – this is a very minor item - that yes is upsetting, but not the worst thing that could happen. Did I ever tell you about the wedding where the band didn't show up? Or the rabbi didn't call that he'd be over an hour late? Or the outdoor wedding with inadequate flooring and tents? All real wedding situations that are much, much worse than one or two guests not showing up.


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