Monday, June 28, 2010

Should Gift Amounts Be Reciprocal?

I think so. If you go to a wedding and as a couple you give the bride and groom $200 wouldn’t you be pissed if at your wedding they gave you $50? Admit it, you would. When it comes to giving wedding gifts there is a tit for tat issue that many gift givers follow. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

When you and your groom are going through your gifts make a list of who gave you what for two reasons. First, for thank you notes, which should be sent 8 weeks after you return from your honeymoon. And second to keep as a gift giving guide for you and other relatives - like your parents, grandparents, and siblings - for when you (or they) are invited to someone’s wedding.

I know some people will comment that this is in bad taste or that weddings aren’t about the gifts, but the truth of the matter is that even though you don’t get married for the gifts you still get them. It’s better to have a good idea what to give then to guess when it’s time to go to a wedding and have the couple feel insulted.

There is an exception to this tip. If you got married young and some of your friends came as single guests and either in the first job, still in school or unemployed and gave you a $50 gift -- don’t give them $50 when you go to their wedding years later. In this instance I would adjust for inflation or the fact that you have better jobs and that you had a +1 - your husband - at their wedding. You may want to bump up the gift value to $100-200 depending on your relationship.


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